"I thought you wouldlikeyour costume," I said ruefully. I really wasn't at all sorry. I had given him plenty of opportunity to choose for himself, but I knew my tone would make him remorseful.
"Do not upset yourself. I was never going to like anything."
I grinned at his honesty. He might be a curmudgeon, but at least he was a self-aware curmudgeon.
"I think if you would try to get into the spirit of the thing you could enjoy it like everyone else."
"Everyone else likes masquerades because the pretense of anonymity gives them an excuse to misbehave. Fancy dress balls people only pretend to like, though indeed at first they truly are enamored of the idea of selecting a costume. However, doubt sets in and they find they are too afraid to choose anything that might be considered outrageous, yet they desperately wish to be noticed. So they will spend weeks fretting, ultimately deciding to copy whatever their friends are doing. You meant well, I know, but all you have done is cause our poor guests unnecessary anxiety."
"Mr. Darcy, you are a rather cynical person, but it is because you are so very wise, I am sure."
"You tease now, but you will see. At least half of the ladies will arrive dressed as scantily clad shepherdesses and the gentlemen, barring the few that go in for this sort of thing, will don a plain mask and declare at the door, 'I am myself, but in disguise,' and think themselves damnably clever."
"I suppose that is what you say when attending costume balls?"
"No, I would always put on the mask Bingley forced upon me at the door and say, 'Let's get this blasted evening over with.'"
"Has Mr. Bingley told you who he will come as?"
"I have forbidden all discussion of costumes in my presence, if you will remember."
I remembered. This past week he had enforced that prohibition at the dinner table like a true tyrant. I am afraid it has made him unpopular with my younger sisters.
"He is going to be Lancelot and Jane is going to be Guinevere." Their coordinating costumes were the only thing keeping Mama from driving me completely mad. After I pointed out that being the Lancelot to Jane's Guinevere was as good as Mr. Bingley declaring his love, Mama eased up on hounding me about the lack of proposal and what a terrible chaperon I had been. A little.
"Your angelic sister is to be the adulterous wife of King Arthur?"
"It is fancy dress ball, it is meant to be diverting and jolly. Do try not to take everything so seriously."
"All right. What of the rest of your family?"
"Mama is going to be the Queen of Hearts."
Darcy barely concealed a snort. "And your father is to be the King of Hearts?"
"My father believes he will be spending a peaceful evening in the library."
"Have you not told him the library is going to be used as a card room?"
"No. I also haven't told him I have instructed the housekeeper to lock the door to his bedchamber and not let him back in until the ball is over. He will attend. I doubt I can compel him to dress up, but he will at the very least wear a mask and pretend to be happy. Having let Mama drag the whole family here without even writing first, it is the very least punishment he deserves."
"Remind me never to anger you."
Reluctant to prove his point, I hesitated before continuing with my recitation, "Lydia is going to be a shepherdess." Darcy smirked infuriatingly. "Kitty was going to be one as well, but she and Lydia are at odds and she didn't want to be the same thing anymore so we altered her costume a little and she is now a dairy maid."
I was slightly concerned with the sudden enmity between Lydia and Kitty. They had argued before of course, but never had they been in conflict for so long. More concerning still, was how secretive Lydia had become. She was forever disappearing to walk Sir Sebastian. Once she was gone for four whole hours. Four hours! She took a servant, but a servant can be distracted. Or bribed. Papa, as usual, refused to make any attempt to dissuade Lydia from her wanderings despite my repeated warnings on the subject.
"Always shepherdesses. Why does no one ever wish to be a costermonger or a sweep? Though I have seen someone come to a ball as a ratcatcher before. He was perhaps too accurate in his portrayal, but we must give him credit for originality," Darcy mused.
"Mary, like you, was too superior to get excited about something as trivial as a costume so she let me choose hers as well. She will be Athena."
"I rather thinkyouwould make for a better Athena. Or Artemis. If you were going to be a goddess. Persephone seems too docile."
"Yes, but one is suppose to take the opportunity to become someone completely different for an evening. I am already too bellicose and Mary is too timid. Also there was left over fabric from my costume so it was simplest just to make something similar for Mary, and if I am anything it is efficient."
Darcy smirked at this remark as well.
"Dora is going to be some manner of beetle, isn't she?"
