This silence was excruciating. What if he doesn't pleasure himself? What if I am somesort of lustful monstrosity?
"Yes, I think of you," he said at long last. "When you arrived at Netherfield to see Jane looking like a woman undone with your hair wild and your eyes bright I knew I had underestimated the power of your beauty. I thought of you that night. I had not spent so quickly since I was a green lad. I have thought of you every night since and I fear my desire for you is the sort that will drive me closer and closer to madness until I can finally be inside of you."
Well, then.
"Oh," I said because that was all I could manage.
"Yes, oh," said Darcy with a self-depreciating laugh. Perhaps he thought he had revealed too much however I was most gratified to hear his words. They left my my throat dry, but other more southerly locations decidedly wet. Wetter.
"Oh,"I repeated as he nuzzled my breasts with his mouth. "Ohhh,"as his hand once again found the center of my need.
"If not of me, what—whom do you think of?" he asked, slipping one clever finger inside my sodden passage.
After a long, distracted pause during which another finger joined in the exquisite torture, I answered, "I think only of how very pleasant it feels."
"How delightfully innocent," Darcy replied. And then he did something completely indecent.
Had it occurred to me to stop him I still would not have for as shocking as the idea of it was, I had a strong suspicion it might feel wonderful.
I was right. I usually am.
Darcy kissed his way down my body. Then he did the thing with his tongue.There.He kept at it. He did it with the determined proficiency with which he did everything. I had never admired that quality in him as much as I did in that moment.
After a while his dedication paid off and for about a half a minute I died. It was glorious. Angels sang and everything. Every climax I had ever brought myself to had been polite by comparison. This rapture had left me a panting, shuddering mess.
Whilst I recovered my husband returned to his earlier position, pinning me to the bed. This time he clasped my hands in his own. I felt his breath, warm against my cheek, I was vaguely aware as he positioned himself at my entrance.
"That was—" I began, but I got no further in my praise, instead I shouted, "Bloody hell!"
"Forgive me, I thought it might be less painful if the ingress was completed quickly."
"I hate you. No, I don't. No, I definitely hate you. No, I don't. It doesn't hurt, but it is a near thing. It just feels like too much," I said as I adjusted to his hasty invasion.
"Should I retreat?"
"No!" I cried. I threw one leg around his hips to stop him. "Oh, that feels quite good actually." I writhed a bit testing the sensation. "Isn't that remarkable? I thought it would be awful."
"Yes, it is all very remarkable," he sounded as though he were under great strain. "May I—could I possibly—proceed?"
He was fortunate my lust outweighed my impish compulsions, instead of torturing him further I said, "Oh, yes, do."
I thought it would be dreadful. I thought I would tear in two. But it wasn't and I didn't.
He moved inside of me hesitantly at first, but his vigor increased as I cried out begging for more without really knowing what I was asking for.
Just as I began to feel I could endure no more pleasure, I perished again, dying that lovely impermanent death only overwhelming ecstasy could bring.
Eighteen
23rdDecember 1811
Still Evening
"Well, that wasn't entirely terrible," I declared mimicking Darcy's usual dry tone. This was the understatement of the century, but it would not do to praise him too highly. One must encourage people to keep aspiring to greater heights.
"You really are too kind," Darcy replied.
He had rolled over to the other side of the bed. I was feeling just a little bereft and wondering why he had felt the need to distance himself so promptly. He was probably being gentlemanly. When he made to move off of me I ought to have said, "Just lay there and sweat on me, it is quite all right. I am laying in a pool of sweat and other less decorous secretions anyway."
