I did not mean that. I am not one of those silly girls who likes dangerous men—who needs constant excitement lest they do something stupid just for the thrill of it.
But my husband is not dangerous. He is challenging, to be sure, but perhaps I would not wish to have my way in everything anyway.
I do not like this line of thinking. It is beginning to sound as though Mr. Darcy is not completely horrible. Which of course he is. Obviously. Although—
No. Absolutely no althoughs. Heiscompletely horrible. But he is not dull. And I must admit now that this Jane-Bingley fiasco was not entirely his fault. Miss Bingley and Mr. Bingley and even Jane herself must share blame.
But what he said about my family! I am not forgiving him for that! I. Am.Not. Never ever. And his insinuation that I made myself ridiculous trying to push Jane and Bingley together—well, that is just . . . entirely true.
But see if I ever admit it.
"So there you have it, Jane," I said triumphantly, "No impending engagement between Mr. Bingley and Georgiana. It was a misrepresentation by Miss Bingley that I am sure was just a mistake and not at all malicious in intention."
"I know it seems like pure vindictiveness—and I really cannot believe she would . . .oh,Caroline—but she isn't a monster . . . in most circumstances. I am sure shethought she was doing the right thing."
Seeing my furious expression Georgiana quickly added, "Not that I think it was the right thing! However, I am sure she thought she was protecting her brother. Charles is just so . . . ."
"Kind?" I suggested with a wry grin. I knew what she wanted to say. Mr. Bingley is just such a malleable idiot.
"Yes, and because he is so kind sometimes people take advantage of him and I think it has caused Caroline to be a bit over-protective. I know Charles had shown a marked interest in one particular lady in Hertfordshire. Louisa let slip that the lady was you, Miss Bennet. Having met you, I know Caroline's fears must have been unfounded, but she thought . . . well, that is not for me to explain. Just do not think too ill of her, she did what she did out of love for Charles."
"Yes, I am sure it had nothing to do with a desire not to be connected with a lady who has one uncle in trade and another employed as a mere country solicitor."
"Well. . . ." said Georgiana, trialing off as she grasped for a way to defend her friend's snobbery.
"It is all right, everyone has faults," I said. I was feeling particularly magnanimous having finally proved to Jane that Mr. Bingley was indeed in love with her and no one else.
"Did you come here for something before I rudely put you on the spot?" I asked suddenly curious. I knew she had already taken her meal. She always took breakfast early then spent the rest of the morning at her instrument.
"Oh, yes. I've lost Belinda and Henrietta and I was hoping you might help me look for them."
Miss Hopkins had requested a day off to visit her sister. Georgiana, in an act of reckless bravery, had volunteered to play governess today in her stead.
"Of course, I am sure I can discover them quickly enough. Do not interrupt your meal, Jane," I added as she made a movement as if to stand, "I will not need help."
I have a special talent for finding the Vane sisters. This probably has something to do with the fact that when I do find them I do not make them converse in French (my own French is quite hopeless) or practice their sketching (I never learned to draw and I have got on just fine, thank you), or play the harp (neither girl has much in the way of musical inclination and I think to force a student to learn only leads to musicians like Mary, whose technically sound performances somehow give no joy to the listener).
Instead I leave Henrietta to her novels and Belinda to her gruesome histories and thus they do not mind being found by me at all. I hope they will not feel betrayed when I hand them over to Georgiana this time. Perhaps I can talk them into submitting to an hour each at the pianoforte in exchange for being left to their own devices the rest of the day.
"Mrs. Annesley is searching below stairs and I have already looked everywhere on this level. I thought you might take the first floor while I search the second," said Georgiana.
He Who Must Not Be Named was on the first floor and I nearly insisted on searching the second instead, but I did not wish anyone to think I was avoiding him out of any cowardice on my part so I agreed and we went off to search our respective floors.
I had just finished thoroughly investigating You Know Who's study (which was no longer eerie as his personal things had been returned to the now finished room—but of course I was no longer interested in divining anything about my husband from his private rooms, not at all) when I heard giggling in the corridor.
I exited the study just in time to see the library doors slam shut.
"Etta, Bel!" I called.
A chorus of muffled giggles ensued. Of course, they would have to be in the library.
"You really must have your music lessons now, but perhaps after you are done we might go to the kitchen and see if Cook has any more cake," I said as I cracked the library door.
It occurred to me that I might make for an overly indulgent parent resulting in horribly spoiled children. However that does not matter as apparently I will never have children. I am never speaking to my husband again much less doingthat.
Cautiously I entered the library. No horrible husband in sight. No Henrietta or Belinda either. I took another step inside and sighed. I was going to have to search the room and I would probably find You Know Who at the desk in the far corner being all brooding and sinister. No matter, he could brood away. I would not talk to him.
Before I could take another step the door slammed behind me. Then, to my great horror, the key clicked in the lock.
