"At some point you are going to have to talk to him."
As I mentioned earlier, sometimes my dear older sister really does say the most absurd things.
"I have not spoken to him for three days and our marriage has never been better."
Jane shook her head. "I cannot believe you are shunning him over such minor injuries."
"Minor injuries! He implied our family is inferior—"
"Lizzy, our familyissocially inferior to—" she began, but I could not let her continue.
"He did not mean social standing, not only social standing at least."
"Can you know what he meant? Did you ask him?"
"I did not need to ask him, the implications were there in his scornful tone."
"I will agree it would have been better—kinder of him not to have said it, but you cannot deny the truth Lizzy."
It as if she has not known me all my life.
"I can deny whatever I like."
"You should allow him the chance to apologize."
"There can be no apology. If it was a matter of mere insults perhaps—perhaps—I might be persuaded to hear his apologies, but it is what hedidthat makes it all unforgivable and I cannot believe you could greet him so serenely given his offenses against you."
"It was easy because I do not see that he has committed any offenses against me."
I sighed internally. That was such an absurdly Jane thing to say.
"How can you say that? Do you not understand what I just told you?" I asked perhaps more condescendingly than I meant to.
"You might be the clever one, Lizzy, but I am capable of comprehending most things,"she said with surprising severity, then with more composure, "Yes, I understood perfectly what you said. I had been behaving indifferently toward Mr. Bingley with intention so you cannot fault Mr. Darcy for thinking me indifferent."
"Why were you behaving indifferently to Mr. Bingley?" I asked keenly. This question had been the entire purpose of this conversation, the deal we had struck. I would tell her about why I had been avoiding my husband, if she would explain the secret reason she was being strange around Mr. Bingley.
"As I have told you before, I did not wish to press and unwanted acquaintance upon him."
"And as I have told you before, that is complete nonsense," I replied. She was not going to evade the question this time, I would have the truth. "Why would Mr. Bingley ask Dar—that person—if he thought you cared for him if he did not care for you?"
"Perhaps he was worried my affection was greater than his and was trying to spare my feelings."
I rolled my eyes. In just a few weeks I had acquired several bad habits from He Who Shall Not Be Named. But some statements just begged for an eye roll in reply.
"Jane, that is ridiculous and you know it. Now tell me what has caused you to believe such silly notions?"
"I do not think I should tell you. It does not matter now anyway."
"We had an agreement," I pressed. She had wheedled her way out of telling me the truth for the last time.
"I do not wish to place you in an awkward position."
I laughed hollowly. "I am an unwanted wife whose faults and mishaps are aired weekly in the scandal sheets, I do not think my position can get any more awkward."
When she did not immediately speak I asked, "It was not my husband who put these misconceptions into your head, was it?"
He told me he had not. If he lied to me it would completely shatter everything. This thought gave me great pain. I was surprised to feel thusly. I had not known there was anything left to shatter.
