The look Darcy was giving me proclaimed that he felt the addition of the pomegranate had explained everything rather than merely shifted the tone of this encounter from vaguely threatening to just perplexing. More perplexing still, he placed the pomegranate next to the lamp on the bureau and began to saw it in half with the knife.
"I thought back. I think I know what I said that upset you yesterday. And do not attempt to tell me you are fine," he said as he continued to saw away. It was more of a job than it should have been. I suspected the knife was dull.
"I had no intention of doing so," I replied, "I was going to say, 'It certainly took you long enough'."
He continued sawing.
"Well?" I asked impatiently when I became apparent he would say nothing more until he had opened the blessed fruit.
Realizing sawing would do him no good, he tried stabbing instead. The pomegranate shot across the room. "Give me a moment," he said as he went to retrieve it.
"Why are you mutilating my pomegranate? I had wanted to taste that."
"You will taste it," he said, now hacking at the unfortunate fruit.
"I think the knife is dull."
"Hold your comments, please, you will not wish to sully this moment with your sharp tongue. This will be a stupendously romantic gesture if you will just bear with me."
"Will it indeed?"
"Indeed."
"That was the thirteenth word you spoke to me after our marriage," I said. I regretted the words as soon as I had spoken them. Remembering such a thing displayed my sentiment too obviously.
Darcy halted his plight. "Indeed?"
I nodded.
He went back to his work.
"You might simply tell me what you wish to say," I wheedled. My hopes were rising too high. I could not take the suspense. "I am sure the pomegranate is not necessary."
"It is most necessary. Just hold on a moment more. I have nearly opened the bloody thing."
I grinned. If I have accomplished anything in my marriage it is teaching my husband how to curse.
"All right. Give me your hand," said Darcy.
I offered my hand. He turned it palm up then knelt before me.
"Ignore all of the preface," he said.
"I will never ignore the preface. The preface is the best part."
"Hush. Let me do this properly."
"This is where it gets romantic rather than comedic?"
He nodded. He began placing pomegranate seeds into my outstretched hand one by one.
"Are you counting out loud?"
"I have not slept in more than a day. I cannot concentrate. Would you please be quiet?"
"Never," I replied, causing him to glare at me. Not a full Glare. But still a glare. In the middle of what was purported to be a romantic gesture. The man really was too much. I did the Stare of Madness back at him with no actual hope of achieving anything with it. He was obviously already mad.
"I am sorry," I said, "I will behave now."
