Not thinking straight, Madelaine nodded before she could stop herself. “Yes. It was all over the newspapers, and…”She didn’t finish the sentence when she realized what she had just done.
“What else do you remember?” Evelyn asked, staring at her with a hopeful expression. “Do you remember anything from back home? About your family? Your parents? Doctor McPhearson told me to keep asking questions about your life, because it could jog your memory.”
When Madelaine just stared at her with wide eyes, not answering, Evelyn shrunk into herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pressure you,” she said.
Madelaine closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was her friend, and she was lying straight to her face. Worse, she now knew about Luke’s terrible history, and she had lied to a man who had lost his entire family. If he found out, Luke would most certainly throw her out of his house immediately. The betrayal would be too great for a man who was as heartbroken as Luke obviously was. Madelaine couldn’t bear the thought of doing that to him.
If she lost his support and respect, Madelaine had no idea how she would—or could—proceed with her search for Timothy, and with her plan to get rid of Phineas and his men, to claim her ranch back. She hated the fact that this was purely for her own selfish reasons.
She had gotten herself into a real mess. She felt horrible as a person. She felt horrible as a friend.
And she felt horrible in the eyes of God. She’d lost count of how often she’d silently prayed to Him today, asking for His forgiveness and grace, and she feared that He might no longer be listening.
In this moment, Madelaine had no idea how she would or could ever find a way out of this unscathed. The more time progressed, and the longer the lie lingered, the more her soul was drifting to a darker side she didn’t feel she belonged to, and that scared her to her bones.
Chapter Nine
Despite having started the day on a lighter note and with good intentions in the morning, today had been a rough day for Madelaine. It had highlighted the fact that she was being dishonest to a man who clearly didn’t deserve it. She felt the urgent need to unburden her heavy heart from having to keep up a lie she no longer wanted to tell.
She hadn’t lost faith in God, but had He lost faith in her?
Madelaine opened her mother’s beloved Bible, even though she didn’t think she deserved to even hold it. She opened to a passage which usually gave her guidance.
Philippians 4:6-7—“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ.”
Then, she opened her journal and began to write. She wrote down everything she truly felt. She hadn’t lost her love for God. She hadn’t lost her trust in Him. That would never happen. She just felt trapped, needing His guidance to find a way out of this mess.
So, she wrote down the prayer she’d shared with Belle and Simon tonight before they went to sleep:Heavenly Father, we thank You that all good things come from You. We thank You that we can trust You for the future of our family. Please guide these children in every step they take. Please, let them know your provision and protection. Make steady their steps. This I pray. Amen.
***
After breakfast the next morning, Evelyn surprised Madelaine with the idea of going into town together to get some groceries.
Madelaine wasn’t thrilled. Given the current circumstances, she really didn’t want to leave the house. She didn’t want to be noticed, or—in the worst-case scenario—be seen by one of Phineas’ men, or even Phineas himself. What a disaster that would be.
So, she began her day, trying to stall Evelyn as much as she could.
At first, Madelaine pretended that she was busy with all kinds of household chores she needed to get done before lunch—which weren’t many, since the house was kept spotless, so Madelaine couldn’t even find anything to clean or organize.
Then she wanted to check on Tinsel, and she made it a point to take Simon and Belle with her, since both children would drag out the usually quick march to the barn.
By the time they’d checked on the horses, it was time for lunch, which was another good excuse to keep stalling—especially doing all the dishes, including all the pots and pans, afterwards.
Much to Madelaine’s surprise, Luke and Caleb showed up shortly afterwards.
“You two are early! Is everything all right?” Evelyn asked when they walked in.
“Everything is all right,” Luke replied calmly, looking straight at Madelaine, who blushed profusely. He sometimes made her nervous, and she had no idea why.
As he moved around the house, she watched him secretly, as she often did. Madelaine didn’t want to admit it, but there was something about him which drew her eye to him. Granted, he was a very handsome man, but the way he carried himself with so much confidence, without ever bragging or being arrogant, made her feel safe, somehow.
Before Evelyn, Caleb, or Luke could say a word, Madelaine rushed back into the kitchen and began to prepare a meal for both men using the leftovers from lunch, heating it all up in all the pots and pans she’d just cleaned minutes before.
When Madelaine brought out the plates, piled high with steaming hot food, before setting them down right in front of Caleb and Luke, the clock chimed on the mantle above the fireplace. It was one in the afternoon, and it became clear that Evelyn couldn’t take it anymore.
“Okay. That’s enough dilly-dallying,” she said, looking pointedly at Madelaine. “Caleb, Luke, I need you two to look after Belle and Simon for a while, because I am taking Madelaine into town to get some groceries.”
Madelaine froze on the spot.
