“I have prayed about helping you at the clinic and I have listened for God’s answer. I believe I should help you,” she said earnestly. “The Lord has always guided me and I have learned these skills for a reason. My father encouraged me to help others as Christ did. If there is someone to watch Matthew for me when I am busy working for you, I will take the position until you find someone who is capable.” She let out a small breath and hesitated. “Who is Rose? Is she trustworthy to undertake Matthew’s care?”
Daniel chuckled and nodded vigorously. “Rose works at the clinic, but she does not have the skills of a nurse. Her role is to keep the clinic clean and hygienic. She also helps to keeps stock of our supplies, excepting Alistair's supplies. He is skilled at alchemy in medicine and for the most part handles everything in the office himself.”
“I see,” Ruth gave a small smile and nodded. “Alistair is your medical partner?”
“Yes, he is,” Daniel said, wondering how she knew about Alistair. “He was my father’s business partner and now, I suppose, my business partner by default.”
He was excitement that she had made her choice and could barely conceal his delight.
“Thank you, Ruth,” Daniel’s smile was broad, and he saw her cheeks grow pink at his obvious pleasure.
Daniel was sure he saw her smile, but she had her head down and exited the room quickly.
***
After what felt like hours, Daniel still had not found anything in the journals that was even remotely close to being helpful in providing more information about his father’s illness. He was very frustrated and had snapped at Elizabeth when she called him for dinner. He sat back in the chair with a sigh and closed his eyes, knowing he needed to apologize to her. He looked at his pocket watch and saw it was late. He felt a headache brewing, probably because he had skipped dinner.
He rose from the chair and left the study, headed toward his room. He’d asked God to help him understand why his father had to suffer and die. He knew in the pit of his stomach there was a reason and he desperately wanted to find that reason.
Having Ruth agree to work at the clinic greatly relieved him. It was the most hopeful he’d felt since he returned to the ranch after Mary Jane’s death. Was it alright to feel this happy? Spending time with Ruth and Matthew earlier that day made him remember what it was like to be happy. But he didn’t want to forget Mary Jane and he still missed her. Did God bring Ruth to help him find the reason for his father’s death? Could her knowledge help him discover something that he had missed? Time spent with her made him realize he had begun to care for her more than he realized, and although it was exhilarating, it also scared him.
He walked past the nursery and heard Ruth’s lilting voice. He stopped to listen. The door was slightly closed, and he peeped through the crack. He saw her seated on the rocking chair near the crib with her Bible on her lap. Matthew was in his crib listening intently to her soft, sweet voice.
Daniel knew this story; he remembered Mary Jane telling it to Matthew even though he was just an infant at the time.
“… and it rained for forty days and forty nights just as God told Noah … everything was under water …” Daniel could only hear bits of the story as she was telling it to Matthew rather than reading it from the book. Ruth’s voice continued, “Noah sent out a dove and it didn’t come back; there was hope once again … the waters had gone and the land was dry.”
He grinned and continued to his room. He loved the story, but sadness filled his heart as memories of Mary Jane flooded his mind and his thoughts were swept away by guilt and grief.
He had never felt such conflict before and didn’t know what to do. His fledgling feelings for Ruth were growing, but his feelings for Mary Jane still lingered.
Part of him felt he shouldn’t have feelings for Ruth—it just wouldn’t be right. He couldn’t betray Mary Jane, but she was gone forever, and wouldn’t be coming back. His chest closed as a gut-wrenching pain filled him as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Tears he could not withhold escaped.Yes, he acknowledge,Mary Jane is gone forever. She would never come back, just like his father. He bent over and gave in to his grief.
Hidden in his room were unopened whiskey and brandy bottles he’d stashed in various drawers, including his chest of drawers. He stood and collected every bottle, placing them all on his desk, studying each one.
“Lord,” he said dully and with resentment, “you took Mary Jane and my father from me. You left me bereft.”
Daniel picked up a bottle of brandy and fell into his chair. About to open it, something stopped him and he stared at the bottle. He remembered his first encounter with Ruth and the horror on her face whenever she saw him drinking. He didn’t want her to see him like that again—like a drunkard, and he grew angry at himself. This was not the answer. He threw the bottle to the corner of the room, where it shattered, amber liquid coursing down the wall. He knew Elizabeth would scold him, chattering like an angry squirrel, but he didn’t care. In a blind rage, with one broad movement his arm swept all the bottles from his desk, where they smashed in an ungodly mess of glass and liquor on the floor.
Chapter Fifteen
From her room, Ruth had heard the sound of breaking glass last night, and she prayed. She assumed that Daniel was in some way responsible, and hoped he was alright. She wondered what could have changed his mood so suddenly. He had been kind and pleasant yesterday at the pond, and also when she spoke with him in the study.
He seemed fine in the morning, and she didn’t say anything to him about it at breakfast prior to her first day at the clinic. She quickly got Matthew ready for the day in a button-up pleated smock, and readied a bag for him with a change of clothing and extra diapers.
She was excited because she often wondered what it would be like at the Grant Clinic and whether it would be like her father’s clinic. From what she heard about Alistair and his skills, he must have his own laboratory. That was the only way he would be able to make medicine. Her father’s clinic didn’t have a laboratory so she imagined the Grant Clinic would be quite different.
Jimmy had the carriage ready for them and Daniel spent a few minutes rubbing Spark’s snout and scratching behind his ears, explaining why he was pulling the carriage today instead of wearing his usual saddle. Ruth had to stifle her laughter because it did seem the horse had been a bit upset.
She was nervous about being with Daniel in the clinic every day and also about meeting Alistair, remembering the stories she’d heard about him. He couldn’t be that bad, could he?
The last time she came to Cheyenne it was for furniture and clothing. Today they were on a different route, passing by garages, hotels, curio shops, and bakeries, all buzzing with people going about their business in the city.
Daniel turned the carriage onto 17th Street, where Ruth was kept busy turning her head from side to side reading signs and looking into windows displaying merchandise. He hadn’t said much throughout the journey from the house and Ruth wondered if whatever happened last night had anything to do with his silence.
“This is the Cheyenne Club, for men only,” Daniel explained, indicating a building on the right along Capitol Street. The club had brick stairs leading to a wraparound porch.
Daniel stopped the carriage outside a large building with signage that readT. Conroy’s Liveryand climbed down.
