Thomas knew that he was referring to the disappearance of the man he used to be. It took every ounce of his being not to walk across the street.
“Buena told me that your father has brought someone in to help. Why don’t you give her a chance Thomas? Maybe she could be the mother your son needs.”
Deep down Thomas knew that Robbie was in desperate need of a mother. The boy cried all hours of the night and refused to eat unless Buena forced him to.
“Don’t think of it as replacing your wife, Thomas. Nobody can ever do that. Just let her mother your son.”
He pictured himself with a drink in his hand and all he could hear was the sound of a crumbling house and his son crying at night. If he wasn’t willing to try for himself, the least he could do was to give his son a fighting chance.
Thomas turned around and climbed onto his horse. “Have a good evening, Sheriff,” he said to Ezrah Gideon before galloping away.
Chapter Eight
Rosaline awoke before the sun was even up. She got out of bed and pulled on a pale green frock. It was one of only three dresses she owned, the others being her maid’s uniform and a plain brown day dress.
It had long been her custom to rise before the sun and start her day by spending time with God, just as her father had taught her when she was little. “We need to follow Jesus’ example,” he would say.
“Remember (Mark 1:35) “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.”
She washed her face in the porcelain basin that Buena had filled for her the night before. The basin was a pale pink with a pretty floral design and gold leaf around the edges. She wondered if it had belonged to Thomas’ wife or mother. She made a mental note to thank Buena for all the kindness she’d shown her since she’d arrived.
“Things will look better in the morning,” she recalled the woman’s words of encouragement. “They always do.”
“Lord, please let that be true,” she prayed aloud. Making her way back to the bed, she removed her mother’s old hairbrush from the valise, along with the pins she needed to tie back her hair and the cap to keep them contained. Her hair would always loosen throughout the day, no matter how hard she tried to keep it tamed.
Brushing the auburn tendrils back, she was about to place the cap over the bun, when she suddenly realized that nobody was there to demand her hair remain tidy. No rule bound her to obey.
Smiling she put the cap on the bedside table and left it there. She’d leave her hair in a loose bun. No more itchy scalp. The thought brought her immense joy. Ever since she was a child she had loved it when her hair was free. It was something that her mother had encouraged.
The feeling was quickly replaced by one of dread at the thought of the Vosses and their rules. What if Mr. Voss has figured it out. What if, at this very moment, he was on a train coming to take her back. She couldn’t stand the thought of the humiliation and deprivation she’d have to face, or the bars she would undoubtedly be forced to perform in.
“No,” she whispered to herself and shook her head. This is God’s time and she would not let doubts and fears intrude on that. Taking her thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ, she turned her mind back to her devotions.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, she took out her Bible and flipped to her favorite verse. She needed a bit of extra encouragement to take on the task that lay ahead. Convincing Thomas that she should stay.
(Deuteronomy 31:8) “And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”
She dropped to the floor on her knees, and with her elbows resting on the bed and her hands clasped in front of her, she began to pray.
Lord, thank you for the opportunity you have set before me. I know that sometimes our prayers may not be answered exactly how we imagined or wanted them to be, but you have placed me here for a reason. Let not my will be done but yours.
She continued to thank God and pray for every member of the household. Arthur, Robbie, Buena, and Thomas. Especially Thomas. She asked God for a miracle that would take his heart of stone and replace it with one of flesh.
The sun was beginning to rise. She could see the light gently peeking through the drapes. She finished her prayers and pushed herself up from the ground. Her knees were sore from the hard floor, but her heart was content.
She walked over to the window and pulled open the drapes, letting the early light spill into the room. Rosaline felt like she was ready. Ready to take on the task that God had lain at her feet. Ready to be a mother.
After all, God would not call her to a fight without also giving her the strength to face it. And was it not God that made her find the scrap of paper that lead her here.
She would put off all the doubts she had felt the night before and run towards the light. She stood determinedly with her hands on her hips and watched as the sun rose over the ranch.
***
Buena was busy with breakfast when Rosaline made her way into the kitchen. She stayed in her room praying and talking to God for an extra hour after the sun had come up. It gave her the courage and strength she so desperately needed.
“Good morning Buena,” she smiled as she entered the kitchen with newfound confidence.
“Good morning, dear. I hope you had a good night.”
