“Come in and take a seat dear.” Buena nodded towards the rocking chair in the corner. “I’ll hand him over when you’re settled.”
Rosaline gingerly made her way to the chair and sat, smoothing her dress around her knees and taking her time to compose herself before looking to Buena.
Robbie had stopped crying, but was fussing in Buena’s arms as she carefully placed him in Rosaline’s lap. He had a beautiful mop of sun-kissed curls, honey brown eyes like his father and a tiny button nose.
He started crying and flailing his chubby little arms again as Rosaline attempted to rock him back and forth on her lap, awkwardly holding his head in the crook of her arm.
“He’s hungry. I’ll just pop to the kitchen and fetch some things. Just carry on rocking him like that,” Buena said over her shoulder as she left.
Rosaline was about to protest, but it was too late. Buena was already out the door.
Panic rose in her chest. Robbie was turning red in the face from crying. “Shhh. All is well,” she tried to soothe him. “You’ll be fine,” she said almost tearfully, the exhaustion from the trip and all of her emotions catching up with her.
Buena came back after a few minutes and handed her a silver dish that looked like something you used to pour gravy. Rosaline had heard of a pap boat to feed a child, but she had never seen or used one before.
There was a mushy mixture inside that smelled like bread soaked in milk. She hesitantly looked at the older woman, unsure of what to do next.
“Hold his head like this.” She placed her hand over Rosaline’s and showed her how to support his neck. “And now you lift the boat to his lips and gently tilt when he opens his mouth.”
Rosaline tried her best to mimic the movements, but no matter how hard she tried, Robbie would pull away from her and the food, squirming and almost knocking the boat out of her hands. “He won’t take it.” She finally pleaded with Buena for help after several attempts.
“Let me try.” She lifted Robbie from Rosaline’s arms and took her place in the chair when Rosaline stood. “He’s a bit of a fusspot our little Robbie.” She gently bent her legs as the chair swayed back and forth. Robbie settled and allowed her to pour some of the mush into his tiny mouth.
Rosaline stood uncomfortably next to the crib, feeling like a failure. Her soul was weary and downcast from the trip and the less than friendly welcome from Thomas. Using both hands, she tucked her hair behind her ears.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself dear,” Buena smiled. “You’ll get the hang of it. He’s been a bit out of sorts since he lost his mama. The unrest is causing him to be a bit of a handful,” Buena said sadly as she looked down at the child.
Rosaline’s heart sank. The child needed a mother, something she very much doubted she could be. She looked up to see the woman examining her face with an understanding expression.
“Why don’t you go and have a rest before dinner? You’re looking a little peaky. Your room is right next door, and I’ve taken the liberty of placing your valise by your bed. I’ll sleep in here this evening so you can get a proper rest,” she said reassuringly.
“Thank you.” Rosaline attempted a half-hearted smile.
“Chin up, dear,” things will look better in the morning. They always do.”
She left the room and made her way to the door that was a few steps away from the nursery. Once inside, she shut the door and pressed her head against the cold wood as the tears flowed down her cheeks. “What have I done Lord?” she whispered as Robbie began to cry again. “I’m not qualified for this.”
Turning her back against the door she looked helplessly at the strange room.
Buena had presumably done her best to make it as cozy as possible. She doubted that either Arthur or Thomas had taken the time to make the bed with fresh linen. She could see the care that was taken in folding the corners.
Walking over to the bed she sat on the edge and cradled her head in her hands. “What should I do?” she prayed as the urge to turn away became stronger.
“Be still...” came the reply.
Reaching for her valise that Buena had placed on the edge of the bed, she opened it up and retrieved her Bible from under the clothes. She flipped to the Psalm and read it to herself.
(Psalm 46:10) “Be still and know that I am God...”
She placed the Bible on the table next to her bed beside the flowers and lay back on the pillows, tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. She felt like a failure and she missed her friend. It was hard to be still in your heart when everything seemed so hopeless.
Chapter Seven
The others were already seated at the table when Thomas came in from riding two hours later. His father sat at the head near the fire, and Beuna sat beside Rosaline.
They had clearly been waiting for him, so he hung up his cloak and took his place at the table. The food was sitting ready in red earthenware pots, but their plates and cups were empty.
“Let us thank the Lord,” Arthur said as Thomas reached for a nearby plate and started to help himself.
