As it wasn’t in her nature to be mean to anyone even though she wished she could pay Adam back in his own coin in that instant, she simply nodded.
He sighed with relief and fell into step with her. Olivia knew she ought to go and tell Mrs. Harrison she was leaving the compound for a while but that would delay her from hearing what Adam had to say.
Silently, they walked out of the compound and down the trail that led to the fields where they had had their picnic. It seemed like such a long time ago, Olivia wondered if it ever happened. They had been so happy that day. What changed between them? Now they appeared like strangers, trying to get to know each other all over again.
Adam cleared his throat after they had walked for a short while. Olivia didn’t know where they were headed as there were no other houses along the way, only trees and bushes.
“I’m leaving Ruby Rock for good.”
Olivia’s steps came to a stop at his announcement. A hand crept up to her heart and squeezed it. She gasped at the pain of him leaving.
She opened her mouth to ask him why, but nothing came out of it. She could only stare at him.
“Olivia, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what I said and did to you.” His voice held so much sorrow, her heart clenched. She looked away towards the fields.
His head lowered. “I’m so sorry for my arrogance. I wish I could go back to undo the things I did. As that isn’t possible, all I can do is apologize. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Olivia. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Dear God, please help me. I’ll make a cake of myself if I let go of my emotions.
If she did that, she would burst into tears, fall on her knees before Adam and beg him not to leave her.
“Olivia?” Adam called when she didn’t say anything for a while, fighting to control her feelings for him. “Please tell me you forgive me.”
She turned to him. “I forgive you, Adam. And I wish you well.”
Olivia congratulated herself inwardly for the way she had spoken without a wobble in her voice.
“Now, if that’s all I’d like to return to work,” she added, praying she could hold on before she gave rein to her tears.
“I… I… I…”
Olivia’s lips parted as she watched Adam struggling to say something. Her heart thudded as she waited for him to talk. When he didn’t but still kept his strained face down, she sniffed.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, Adam. But please don’t give up on God. He won’t give up on you.”
With that, she turned to walk away, but Adam stopped her by placing a hand on her arm. The ragged emotions in the depth of his gray eyes had her lips parting.
“Please don’t leave me, Olivia. I’m lost without you.”
Her jaw dropped wider.
With tears flowing down his face, Adam held her other arm. “I’m sorry, I’m only just realizing how much you mean to me. I have been so caught up in my quest for justice, I didn’t see what was right there before me.” More tears poured down his pale face as he continued talking. Olivia just stood there gawking at him, tears streaming down her own face.
“I have fought the pain for years. But I can’t do it anymore.” He sobbed. “I loved God with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my might. I called himMagnificentbecause that was what He used to be to me. I did everything He wanted me to do. When my mates went about doing evil, I followed His ways. I never asked for much. But the one time I needed Him to show up, the one time I begged with all of my heart for Him to answer my prayers, He failed me.”
Olivia felt every pain reverberating from Adam. She held on to his arm, sharing in his grief.
“I have never prayed before the way I prayed on that train that day. I begged for Him to save my parents. Then when I thought it might be too greedy of me, I pleaded with Him to save only my mother. I clung to her with blood seeping from her body onto my trousers. I promised Him anything and everything if she didn’t die. I told Him I would become a preacher and win souls for Him if only He would save her.”
Sobs shook his body, and Olivia fought the urge to wail with him. It brought back memories of how she had wept pitifully when her parents didn’t make it out of their house that fateful night.
“But she died. They both died. I couldn’t believe that the God I had served for fourteen years, the God who had promised He would do anything if I prayed in His name, would fail me when I needed Him the most. Anger replaced my hurt and disappointment. And after a while, it became bitterness which thickened to indifference. Before I knew it, I didn’t want to have anything to do with Him anymore.”
Olivia clung to him as if she would never let go. Adam, she realized, was someone who loved deeply. If he gave his love and loyalty to something, he expected it in return. When it didn’t happen that way, he became angry. But he had to realize disappointments would always come.
“Adam, you have to understand that God has a purpose for everything. He knows why He took your parents away then. His ways are not our ways. I can’t tell you why He did it as I’m not God. But I know He loves you and never stopped loving you even when you turned away from Him.”
Adam stared at her with seemingly unseeing eyes.
