Maeve was stunned, but leaned into the hug, enjoying the warmth and the friendship. "I dinnae understand. How are ye so kind?"
"Ye're me friend, whatever yer name might be. Ye lied about yer name, but ye never lied about yer friendship, did ye?" Ferda told her. She pulled back from the hug, but kept her hands on the sides of Maeve's arms, looking her intently in the face. "We all have our secrets. I understand why ye did what ye did. I'm a scout in the middle of an endless war; I ken what it is tae have tae protect yerself."
"I… I… thank ye," Maeve said simply. "I'm so lucky tae have ye."
Ferda grinned, and for a second, she looked so much like her cousin Darren that it almost made Maeve laugh despite everything. "Of course ye are," she said. "I'll help ye talk tae the others, too, if ye like." She paused. "How did Cailean take it?"
Maeve hesitated. The one thing she'd left out of the story was her trip to the blacksmith and the conversations she'd hadwith Cailean after. That felt private, especially after everything that had just happened with the elders. "I… I'm nae sure," she admitted. "He was angry, but nae unkind. But I need tae find him."
"Come back tae our hut and have a wash and a rest," Ferda advised. "Let Cailean brood, and ye can talk with him in the mornin'. Ye can…"
"No," Maeve said, though the idea of resting sounded better than anything right now. "No, I… somethin' strange happened, Ferda. I dinnae ken exactly what's goin' on, but I dinnae think Cailean should be alone right now."
Ferda tilted her head, frowning slightly, but obviously in thought rather than annoyed. "What about what ye need?"
"I need tae ken he's all right," Maeve replied. "Which way did he go?"
18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Maeve found Cailean at the same little spot by the river where he'd brought her after training. He was staring out into the distance and didn't even seem to notice her approach, but when she sat down next to him, he spoke immediately.
"Go away, Maeve. Go and get that arm seen tae and get some rest."
Maeve frowned at the dismissal. "I have questions for ye," she said. "Many of them."
"Are ye the one in position tae be askin' questions?" he asked her harshly, then sighed, obviously regretting his tone in an instant. He shook his head and said, "Please, just go."
"What happened back there?" she pressed. "Why did they listen tae ye? Why were ye so sharp? Why?—"
"Maeve," Cailean interrupted, turning to her with annoyance in his eyes and voice now. "Have we nae had enough for the night? Is it nae time tae let it go?"
"Have we nae had enough secrets between us?" Maeve snapped back, riled up by his tone despite everything. "Dinnae ye think it's best we're honest with each other from now on?"
Frustration shot across Cailean's face as he turned to look at her. "What exactly is it ye want tae ken?" he demanded.
So many things. She wanted to know so many things. There were so many secrets still between them; she could taste them in the air. What was the pin? Why did the elders listen to Cailean so well? Who was he really? But when she opened her mouth, what she blurted out was, "What is yer problem with Kier's plan? I think usin' me knowledge?—"
Cailean groaned. "Dinnae do this."
"No, really," she pressed. "What possible reason could ye have for not wantin' tae win back such a valuable asset as Darach Castle — Bruce Castle, by rights? The Darachs will ken their men are dead soon enough, and they'll ken I didnae do it alone. They'll come lookin', and we'll all have tae move again, and the people of Broken Windmill might be in danger. Dinnae ye think it would be better tae pre-emptively strike with?—"
"Maeve," Cailean said through gritted teeth. "I'm tellin' yenowtae drop it." His expression was strange, not just anger and frustration, but an undercurrent of fear, too. It was almost unrecognizable, almost hidden entirely, but not from Maeve. She knew fear too well not to know it when she saw it.
She almost backed down, but her passions had risen too high to suddenly stop now. She needed toknow."But I can help. I can make meself useful if ye'll just let me. Me sister is there, lost, with naebody there tae help her. How can we do nothin'? Tae not act when ye've been given such an opportunity seems cowardly…"
She trailed off as rage flashed across Cailean's eyes. She realized in an instant she'd gone too far.
"Ye'll accuse me of cowardice?" he asked in a soft, deadly tone. "Me? I'll accept many things, many insults, many complaints, but Iwillnaebe called a coward. Nae after everythin'."
"I didnae mean…"
But Cailean got to his feet. Something about him seemed to change in that instant, and he started pacing back and forth, the night winds ruffling his hair as he did. His gray eyes glinted in the moonlight, and Maeve was reminded of the dark fae warriors from stories long ago, and she found herself shrinking back — not out of a sense of immediate danger for herself, but from a different, more primitive kind of fear.
"Ye want tae ken the truth? I'll give ye the truth, then, for all ye can handle it. I've lost everyone.Everyone, dae ye understand that? Ye think ye're the only one who's ever feared for a sister? I had brothers and sisters too, once. They're gone, slaughtered in their beds as bairns, or else burned as me home crumbled around us. Me mother and father, killed and displayed in the most brutal way. Me entire clan, decimated while I was just a bairn who could do nothin'. I dream every night of the fire and the blood, kennin' there was nothin' left tae return tae even then."
Maeve stared, wide-eyed, at this torrent of emotion, the stoicism gone as Cailean spilled out the raw, vulnerable truth at last.
