"Me too. But me uncle Kier saved me, just as he and many of me other aunts and uncles saved the rest of us, and brought us here." Ferda reached for the jug of water in the middle of the table and poured them both a cup. "But I felt trapped and resentful. That's why I ran away when I was a young lass of thirteen or so."
"Ye ran away?"
"Aye, and it didnae go well for me." Ferda shook her head. "I was a fool. I wanted tae prove a point about me independence and instead I nearly lost it entirely. I was found by an awfulcouple who took me in and used me as their servant — their slave, really, for they never paid me though I worked endlessly. I got very sick, but they pushed me and pushed me, and I was convinced I was gonnae die."
"What happened?" Maeve asked. Patty returned with their food and another woman alongside her, and the newcomers slid into their seats without interrupting, simply passing along the hot porridge and leaving Ferda the space to continue her story.
"Hamish found me," Ferda replied. "The men at the council, they'd never stopped lookin' for me. It would have been so easy for them tae write me off as a useless waster, a lassie who'd made her own mess and had tae deal with it, but they never left me behind. Hamish brought me home and they cared for me until I was well again. Then, instead of punishin' me, Uncle Kier asked me tae tell himwhyI'd run away. I explained, feeling foolish, but they never mocked me. It was Ewan's idea tae train me as a scout if I wanted. That way, I get me freedom without losin' me home."
"I was in a brothel when Senan found me," the new girl piped up. "They never judged me for it. They just offered me a new life as a cook here and I took it. And ye ken, they've never called me a whore or thrown me past in me face."
"Naebody here would, Lillian," Patty told her. "Not with the way ye cook."
The women laughed, and Maeve stared. "The men treat ye well even with such a history?" she asked. She'd seen how men treated the women of the night they brought back to the castle, her own father included, and it was hard to reconcile this new information.
"Och aye," Lillian told her. "That's what they do here. The council — Senan, Ferda's uncle Kier, and Ewan and Hamish — they dinnae just enforce the ideals that our rebellion stands for. They embody them."
"Respect," Ferda said. "Dignity. Hope. And a love for our country. That's all they ask from us, and it's what they give us in return. Ye saw how quickly they shut down me dim-witted cousin last night. Woman, man, rich, poor; it doesnae matter where ye come from. As long as ye're a part of the rebellion with all yer heart, then ye're part of the hope for Scotland which we believe in. That's all that matters."
Maeve didn't answer, but for the first time, something small and hopeful flickered in her chest. She took a spoonful of porridge and slowly placed it in her mouth, thinking hard as she did. She'd thought that, with everything that had been done to her since birth, she was doomed to be lost forever. But hearing these women's stories, and watching the camp around her, Maeve was feeling something very strange that she'd rarely ever felt before.
Hope. Hope for the future. Hope for herself. And hope for the country she loved. All of it stemming from this room, and the kindness that flowed around her.
Cailean expected solitude at the training grounds when he arrived first thing after eating breakfast. It was usually his time to just enjoy the peace and reflect on everything that had happened over the previous days. Even when there were people there training early, they were few and far between, and he was usually left alone until the sun was high in the sky.
Not today, though. Just as he was about to start on his laps, he saw that someone was standing in the middle of the training field, clearly waiting on someone. Waiting onhim.
It was her — the girl, Mary, who had so thrown him off the night before. He had expected her to spend the morning resting,but it seemed she'd come here immediately after breaking her fast, determination shining in her eyes as he got closer. Cailean cursed to himself; part of him had been hoping that spending the evening and morning with the other women would have made her reconsider at least training as a scout rather than a warrior, but he knew without even asking her that this wasn't the case. Her face wore the same expression as it had the night before, and it was pure resoluteness.
"Ye're later than I expected," Mary said as soon as she cast her eyes upon him. "The women said ye're usually here at the break of dawn, or only a wee bit later if ye remember tae break yer fast. I've been waitin' a half hour."
Cailean stared at her, struck momentarily speechless with her directness and audacity.
She shrugged. "Oh well. I'm ready tae start trainin' whenever ye are. I'm right that ye'll be takin' over me trainin' rather than Senan, aye?"
This was unbelievable. Though Cailean did greatly admire her determination, and part of him found the cheeky way she was speaking to him endearing and even exciting, he still sincerely doubted that this was a good idea. He had nothing against women as warriors, but a woman of her age with no experience, of her short, slim stature with barely any muscle, and with the haunted look in her eyes…
No. He wouldn't risk this young woman based on Senan's idealism. He understood why Senan wanted to give her a chance; Senan wanted to give everyone a chance. But Cailean just could not believe that this girl had what it took, and he didn't want to waste their time — or risk her life.
He'd promised he'd train her, though, not only to Mary herself, but in front of practically the whole camp. That meant that, no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't just straight up refuse now. He needed another tactic.
"Ye found yer sleepin' arrangements tae yer taste?"
"A soft bed is always tae me taste," Mary replied with a small smile. Something in the way she said it made Cailean believe that she hadn't really gotten to experience a soft bed all that often in recent times. "And the food ye provided was wonderful as well, so thank ye. I'm ready tae start trainin' now."
His distraction techniques weren't working, and this bothered Cailean more than he'd like to admit. This morning, Darren had told him plainly that he'd just have to follow through, but Cailean still believed there was a way to avoid this.
"Ye are sharin' with Ferda and Patty, aye?" he asked. "Ferda's one of our finest scouts. She's close with the White Sparrows, they're?—"
"I ken who the Sparrows are," Mary interrupted. She spoke so plainly that it was clear that this was true, much to Cailean's surprise. How did this strange, random girl Senan had found know about the White Sparrows? "They're fine spies. And I'm sure Ferda is a fine scout. But neither of those things are what I want, if that's what ye're hintin' at."
"It is," Cailean replied, spurred into honesty and allowing a little of his annoyance to leak into his voice. "It is what I'm hintin' at. Why did Senan nae take ye tae the Sparrows rather than bring ye here? With yer build and yer temperament?—"
"Ye dinnae ken me temperament beyond these short conversations we've had," Mary replied sharply. "And as for me build, Senan says I'm small but fast. I can use that tae me advantage."
Frustrated by Senan's encouragement of Mary, Cailean barely knew how to respond. Did the councilman not see the girl before him? Did he not know that they could not afford to carry people, nor to put more people at risk?
"Ye'd put it tae better use as a spy," Cailean argued. He didn't know what about her was getting under his skin so much;usually he was much better at keeping his emotions under wraps and dealing with everything more calmly, but right now, he felt unbelievably riled. "Let us reach out tae Morag at the Sparrows. She'll take ye in."
