"What do ye mean? We went tae all that trouble tae fetch ye. What on earth makes ye think we'd send ye away?" Darren frowned, setting his own goblet down beside hers and taking a step closer. "Is it because of what Neala said? I wouldnae worry. She's been all over the place since she returned, I think it's taking her time tae adjust. I'll talk tae her, or I'll talk tae Cailean, and?—"
"It's nae just Neala," Nessa interrupted. She tugged at the sleeve of her dress, twisting the material around her finger nervously. Her father had always yelled at her when she fidgeted, but she often found it was the only way she could stay calm. "It's Maeve. Nay, that isnae right. It'severyone."
Darren furrowed his eyebrows, looking irritated. "Who has been cruel tae ye?"
She shook her head. "Nay. It's just that they all ken who I am. And, Darren, peopledinnae like me. They never have. Maeve has always been able tae charm people with her wit and her beauty. Breana has a gentleness and a kindness that draws people in. Ye—ye can make anyone like ye with a joke and a winnin' smile. But it's never been like that for me. I make people feel uncomfortable and awkward because I dinnae think the way they do. I cannae understand the different meanin's people hide in their words. And so I've always taken refuge in bein' thegooddaughter, the one who makes her father proud, the one who survives as her mother taught her. I do me duty because it's the only thing I've ever kent, and if it hurts people, well then, at least I kent I was doin' what I should be doin'."
She twisted her sleeve so hard that the material tore, but she hardly even noticed. Her speech was coming faster, her breathing less steady, and tears were budding in her eyes. Nessa was losing control, and without control, Nessa had no idea who she was.
"But if I've been wrong me whole life, how can I fix it?" she demanded. "How will people ever forgive me? Why would they want tae?"
"Nessa—" Darren started.
She shook her head. "Only Breana wants me here. Only Breana, even though I was so cruel tae her. But she'll forget me when the bairn comes. She'll realize I'm nae what she wants in her life, just as she should. How can I ever make people like me? How can I?—"
Darren leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.
Nessa gasped against his mouth. His arms slipped around her waist, pulling her close, though giving her enough slack to pull away if she wanted. Her mind went blank as the world narrowed to the feeling of the kiss, and her eyes fluttered shut, her hands resting on his chest. He tasted of strawberries and wine, and she lost herself in it.
The kiss was over in a matter of seconds, and when it was done, Darren gently kissed her forehead and then pulled her in for a hug.
"Iwant ye here," he whispered in her ear. "Ye've let me ken ye, Nessa, while ye scolded me on the road here and admitted tae yer woes. I ken ye, and now I want tae be around ye all the time. If ye let the others get tae ken ye as well—therealye—then I guarantee they'll want that too."
He pulled back from the hug, though still stayed close. Nessa stared at his face for a moment, stunned. This was the last thing she had expected to happen right now, and yet it seemed all of a sudden like her entire life had been moving to this moment.
"Will–will they kiss me too?" she asked with a weak chuckle.
Darren laughed. "I hope they dinnae, though of course ye're free tae kiss who ye like." He winked. "I'd prefer it was me, though. I'm happy tae offer kisses any time."
Nessa's heart was thudding in her chest. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. All she knew was that she didn't want to move away from Darren right now, and that for the first time, she felt like she might at last be somewhere safe.
"I dinnae think this method will work on Neala," she said after a pause. "And even less so on Maeve."
With another laugh, Darren offered his hand. Nessa took it with only a little hesitation.
"Ye're right," he said. "Let's find another way tae approach them, then. There's nae time like the present. But first, we need tae find Breana and Eoin before they think I've spirited ye away tae be inappropriate."
Nessa giggled, scarcely able to believe how much better she was already feeling. "Ye did, in a way."
"Well, dinnae tell them that!" Darren replied.
"I'll think about it," Nessa teased as Darren led her back outside. "Though what will ye give me in return?"
"For yer silence? Tell ye what. In exchange, I willnae tell them thatyejust told me a wee secret I dinnae think I am supposed tae ken just yet." He turned around and gave her a knowing smirk, then started walking again.
Nessa frowned, trying to understand what he meant. She realized in a sudden burst of chagrin. The baby! She'd mentioned the baby! "Oh, Darren, dinnae say aword," she hissed. "I'm warnin' ye."
Darren snorted. "Guess we have a deal then?"
Both of them were laughing and teasing each other by the time they reached Breana and Eoin again. Breana had a worried look on her face, but she relaxed the second she saw Darren and Nessa approaching.
"What are ye two laughin' about?" Eoin asked, his eyes on their joined hands. He gave a pointed look toward Darren. "Been havin' fun, have ye?"
"Never mind that," Breana said quickly, cutting in before the conversation could continue. "Nessa, we saw what happened with Neala. I dinnae ken why—well, never mind. The important thing is, are ye all right?"
Nessa paused for a moment. She could still feel Darren's hand in hers, and she recognized the true concern in Breana's eyes. "Hmm, I think I might be."
Chapter Fourteen
