When Isla climbed in between her soft sheets and put her head to the pillow, she was lost in slumber within moments… and remained there firmly until the first light of day crept through the windows of her chamber, and the songs of the morning birds welcomed her back to the land of wakefulness.
She rolled over in bed, stretched deliciously, and yawned. For the first time since her arrival at Castle Oliphant, she felt rested. Her mind was clear and focused, and her heart was filled with joy. She was not instantly claimed by fear and uncertainty about how the events of the day might assail her, or what quirks of temper Alex might inflict upon her. Now she looked forward to greeting him and seeing whether they might find occasion to spend time together that morning. Another ride, perhaps? Or several hours in the library, comparing their favorite tomes and reading aloud to each other?
Oh, the day seemed so full of delightful possibilities! She could not wait to seize them all! Now that there were no more secrets between her and her betrothed, it seemed as thoughthere was nothing that could ruin their time together between now and the day of their nuptials.
When she dressed and left her room, though, she swiftly saw how wrong she had been.
Isla smiled and waved at the servants… and was surprised when they averted their eyes, whispered amongst themselves, and scuttled away from her like flocks of anxious birds. In every chamber and corridor, she could feel eyes upon her, and hear hushed tones of derision, scorn, and scandal.
But why? What could possibly have changed overnight to make this happen?
She had to find out as soon as she could. The hostility and contempt she felt from all sides was crushing her.
“Pardon me,” she said, approaching one of the younger servant girls.
The girl’s eyes widened at Isla’s approach, and she turned and tried to flee, but Isla reached out and took hold of her forearm firmly, keeping her in place.
“What is the meaning of all this?!” Isla demanded. “Why have I awakened tae such disrespect from all of the people here? Do you all believe I have done some wrong, committed some offense, that would merit such dreadful behavior?”
“‘Tis nae for me tae say, my lady,” the girl squeaked, still struggling to free herself.
“Well, it must be forsomeonetae say,” Isla retorted hotly, “and as ye happen tae be here in my grasp while all the others continue tae run from the sight of me, then I suppose that leaves you, does it not? Now tell me what is going on, at once!”
The lass looked terrified, but she did not dare disobey one whose station was so far above her own. Her mouth opened and closed for several moments as she tried to find the right words, her face turning as red as a beet. Isla felt sorry for the girl, but she had no choice, she needed to be armed with informationbefore she could continue her day, and this seemed to be the only source for it at present.
More than anything, Isla had to know what was transpiring before her first encounter with Alex. Otherwise, she might be caught in the glare of his ire without even understanding why. She did not dare to face him unprepared.
But for heaven’s sake, she wondered,what could it be?
The servant cast her eyes down at the floor bashfully. “‘Tis word, my lady, of yer… previous, er… that is tae say, everyone in the castle has learned that… well, for yer wedding night, ye won’t be…”
“Say it, lass, I beseech you!” Isla demanded desperately. Her stomach was beginning to curdle at the notion that it might be every bit as bad as she feared, but she needed to hear it spoken aloud to be sure.
“...unspoiled, my lady.” Her voice was so quiet and tremulous that Isla almost didn’t hear her. “That ye have… lain with another whilst unmarried.”
Isla felt herself go entirely to pieces then, every part of her sliding apart from all the others, tumbling down and crumbling into rubble, like a tower whose mortar had suddenly dissolved to dust. There were no tears in her eyes, oddly enough. Rather, her face felt chill as ice, her expression frozen in place like a death mask.
Later, she would be unable to remember whether she’d said anything further to the girl, or if she’d simply released her arm and allowed her to scamper off. All she knew was that for the next hour or so, Isla wandered the castle listlessly, her entire body feeling numb as though it was submerged in a pond as cold as death.
She could not even hear her own thoughts. They were drowned out by the horrid buzzing of gossip, like a hive of angry wasps within her skull. Whether these sounds were realor merely her imagination, she could not tell. She could barely bring herself to turn her head and look at the halls and doorways as she passed them. Her eyes were straight ahead, seeing almost nothing, navigating a dreary and clammy fog of ignominy.
Naturally, she eventually found herself standing before the door to Alex’s study. She was still in a state of shock, but she was mildly surprised that he had not tracked her down in a rage before now, demanding to know how her secret had gotten out and what she had to say for herself.
Could it be that word had not yet reached him? Might he not be aware of it?
If that was so, then how could she possibly be the one to tell him? Such a task seemed as grotesque and incomprehensible to her as severing her own arm would have been.
Nevertheless, she could not simply return to her room and avoid any confrontation with him, much as she might have preferred to. If there were words to be spoken, she supposed it was best to get it out of the way as soon as possible, and in so doing, find out what was to befall her next.
The cold sensation had not abated. If anything, it seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into her flesh, until her very bones seemed brittle and made of ice. She caught herself stepping lightly, lest she shatter against the stone floor.
Isla knocked on the door, so softly that she hoped he would not hear and she could wander away again. But he answered briskly: “Enter.”
She stepped in timidly, and from the expression on his face, she could tell that the gossip had not yet reached him. She was uncertain of whether to be relieved, or further humiliated by the fact that she would be the one to deliver the news.
When Alex saw her aggrieved expression, he rose from his desk and went to her immediately. “Here, what seems tae be the trouble?”
His tone was so gentle and concerned that in that moment, she would have given anything to avoid telling him what had happened so it would remain that way. But she had no choice. If he did not hear it from her directly, she feared that he would blame her and be all the angrier.
