This response was hardly comforting to Isla.
“Now, having responded as one who would call herself your friend,” Lorna went on, “‘tis my unpleasant task tae speak as one whose clan’s fortune depends upon a happy outcome: If you have some secret which may ruin this union if it remains concealed much longer, it would behoove you tae confess it sooner rather than later. The longer it is kept from Alex, the fiercer and less reasonable he will be when it is finally revealed tae him. He will blame you for every day, every moment, that you chose to hide it from him.” She shrugged. “And then themarriage will likely be short indeed, much to the chagrin of everyone involved. Tae put it mildly.”
“But he’d nay lose control over it?” Isla asked pitifully. “You’re sure of that, at least?”
Lorna sighed impatiently. “I am sure of that, but you are concentrating on the wrong part of it entirely. His enmity toward you will not bring him to blows, for that is not the sort of man he is. However, it could still lead to conflict—perhaps evenarmedconflict—between our clan and yours, for such things have occurred before when arranged marriages have ended badly. You must consider your next course of action extremely carefully, Lady Isla, and make your decisions based on the greater good rather than what you believe will help you save face personally.”
Isla was surprised when the woman reached out and took her hand gently. “These words may sound harsh to you, but I assure you, they are spoken entirely in the spirit of friendship. You seem confused and upset, in need of guidance, which I am only too happy to offer. I shall not tell Alex anything is amiss, for I would not wish to betray your confidence in that way. Even so, I urge you to find some resolution to this yourself, and soon.”
Isla nodded, slightly encouraged by this show of support.
Lorna patted her arm, then turned and left the room without another word. She was a practical woman, with little regard for pointless niceties once her point had been made. Isla respected that straightforwardness tremendously, and clung to the notion that she might have found another ally within Castle Oliphant.
Still, she was at a loss as to what to do next.
13
The next day, she found herself “wandering” the castle, but from the moment she set forth from her chamber, some deeper part of her knew full well what her intentions were.
Sure enough, one of her first stops was the library, for she desperately hoped she would encounter Alex there.
She’d tossed and turned all the previous night, Lorna’s words ringing in her ears. The woman was right, and Isla knew it. The longer she waited, the worse his reaction would be—and if he did not learn the truth until the wedding night? Then the union would be doomed, and war could well follow, as Lorna had predicted.
It would all be Isla’s fault, without doubt or question.
If anything, she was astonished that Lorna had not held it over Isla’s head, threatened to reveal it to Alex unless Isla took steps to do so herself. Isla had done nothing to command such loyalty from someone she barely knew, someone whose first duty would almost certainly be to the Oliphants…
But there had been something in Lorna’s eyes that made Isla think she might see something honest and honorable in her.Something that genuinely believed Isla would do the right thing if it came to that.
Could there be more to it as well, she wondered? Could it be that in Isla, Lorna saw a fit match for Alex? Could it be that Lorna had recognized some quality in Isla which told her that Alex might still want her for a bride, even if some terrible secret were revealed to him?
Isla wanted more than anything to believe in these things. She saw such keenness and shrewdness in Lorna’s gaze when they’d been together that she even dared to let herself believe Lorna might have understoodexactlywhat sort of “secret” Isla had been referring to.
She knew that much of this was likely wishful thinking on her part. Lorna may have been clever, but that did not mean that Isla’s thoughts and motivations were a scroll she could easily unfurl and read from.
Still, in that moment, such notions brought her just enough comfort that she decided she might try to unburden herself this day. She felt she could not carry her unpleasant truth around with her any longer. It had become a stone slab upon her shoulders, one she was no longer able to bear.
Isla had to tell Alex of her past. If it ended their betrothal, that would be horrible, but if she waited and it resulted in war, that would be too catastrophic an outcome for her to live with.
As she’d predicted, Alex was indeed lounging in the library with a book in his hand. When he saw her, though, he put it aside at once. His smile was so warm and inviting that her courage failed her, for she could not imagine saying anything to him that would cause it to disappear and be replaced by scorn and ire.
“How lovely to see you this morning!” he said, standing and walking over to her. “Have you breakfasted yet?”
“I have, aye,” she replied shyly. “That is, Moira brought it up tae my room, but thank you just the same.”
He looked slightly ruffled and even a bit shy, which was uncharacteristic of him, to be sure. “I must confess,” he began, “I wasn’t sure how comfortable you might be… being alone with me, that is. After we had two such near misses, I mean, in terms of our affections.”
“I… never had any doubt that you would be able tae control yourself, and act the perfect gentleman,” she answered quietly, casting her eyes downward. Her mission was growing more difficult with each passing moment, and she could feel her courage faltering.
His eyebrows went up wryly. “I assure you, my lady, it is no ‘act,’” he chuckled. “I am indeed respectful of proper boundaries in courtship, and always have been. Not that you make it all that easy for me,” he added suggestively. “The temptations you offer are strong indeed.”
“I have offered nothing,” she retorted, a trifle defensively. “Simply because there is a palpable attraction between us… which there ought to be, naturally, if we are tae be… that is tae say, ‘tis all well and good for us tae desire each other, nothing wrong with that at all, as long as we are able tae restrain…”
His smile began to fade slowly. “You seem anxious, Isla,” he observed softly. “Is something weighing on your mind? I jest, but of course I did not mean tae suggest that you had engaged in any untoward behavior since your arrival here.”
His voice was soft, but there was a growing edge in his tone which seemed to suggest otherwise.
Isla felt herself floundering inwardly. Could she not keep her secret just a short while longer? Just another day or two, so she might enjoy his company before lowering the boom on him and ruining everything?
