But oh, the feel of his lips meeting hers for the first time. The way it caused every part of her body and soul to vibrate intensely, like a church bell that had been struck. The way his breath, hot and sweet, mingled with hers as they embraced tightly.
She wanted to surrender to that moment completely and utterly. She never wanted it to end.
Once more, though, its logical conclusion—and the disappointment she might bring him because of it, once her secret was revealed—stopped her short.
Isla forced herself to pull away, and he immediately did the same. “Perhaps we ought not…”
“Aye,” he agreed quickly and firmly. “Some boundaries ought not to be crossed before the wedding night… not that the temptation isn’t tremendous,” he added with a roguish grin. “Particularly now that I’ve felt the touch of your lips against mine.”
“It was lovely,” she agreed with a laugh. “And it shall only serve tae give us more tae look forward tae, when wearewed at last.”
“True enough,” Alex agreed with a nod. “No harm has been done. Come, let us return tae the castle.”
The two of them mounted their horses once more and started back.
On their way, Isla noted a large patch of mud alongside the road. “Follow me!” she called out to Alex, riding hard toward it.
Alex stayed right behind her… and was, therefore, too late to rear back when he realized what she meant to do. Thistledown’s hooves splattered the muck across Isla, and Alex’s horse did the same to him.
By the time they reached the gates of Castle Oliphant, both of them were so covered in grime that they were barely recognizable, and they were laughing like loons. The guardsmen did not know what to make of them, and so let them in without a word.
12
Moira prepared a bath for Isla, and delighted in her retelling of the soil-slinging and mud-riding of the afternoon. Naturally, Isla did not share the more intimate aspects of her conversation with the laird, or the kiss they’d shared,for, though she trusted the servant, she nevertheless knew that maids were often fond of gossip. A seemingly harmless slip to the wrong person, and the entire castle might learn of what had transpired and judge her for it.
In truth, it was hard for her not to judge herself for it either.
She had long since forgiven herself for what had occurred between her and Kenneth. Such things happened in the flame of youth and curiosity, she knew; and at least no bairn had resulted from the mistake they’d made, which would have been truly disastrous. If anything, she had done her best to simply put it behind her and never dwell on it again—to his credit, Kenneth had mostly done likewise.
Having done this, though, she caught herself wondering about her own character, whether her morals were looser than those of other lasses, more relaxed than they ought to be.
If they found themselves in a similar circumstance again, would she exercise more self-control than she previously had? When the mere presence of Alex was more than enough to quicken her heart and send goosebumps dancing deliriously across her skin?
Couldshe restrain herself if such events played out once more?
She hoped so. More than that, she hoped he would be able to, so that she wouldn’t have to.
But of course, there was also a sizable part of her that wished for the opposite, which was so frustrating it made her want to scream into her pillow.
She fretted that her anxiety might betray her at supper that night, and so she was both relieved and disappointed when Lily stopped by her chamber to inform her that Alex would be unable to dine with her, as urgent matters had once again called for his full attention.
So Isla ate alone in her room again, wondering whether Alex was actually busy… or if his decision not to eat with her was because he had regretted what had happened between them that afternoon.
Surely that could not be the case, when they’d had such fun together during the ride back?
Unless he’d reflected upon it in the hours since then, and felt ashamed of himself for it, or worse, ashamed of her for the eagerness she’d shown? She knew that men could be damnably contrary when it came to such things, demanding that women return their affections only to judge them harshly for doing so.
And hedidhold himself to such impossibly high standards…
These questions continued to plague her for the rest of the night, and alas, prevented her from getting much rest. She worried that if she endured many more sleepless nights, her facewould become drawn, and he might no longer find her as fair as he had before.
The next morning, though, when she emerged from her chamber and proceeded down to the library, she found Alex waiting for her with an expectant smile.
“How delightful tae see you again, Lady Isla!” he greeted her. “I hope you had a restful night?”
“I did, aye,” she lied easily. “And ‘tis a pleasure tae see you again as well, Laird Alex. When I heard you didnae plan to dine with me last night, I thought perhaps… that is, I…” She trailed off, unsure of how to best put her concerns into words.
He crossed the room quietly, maintaining eye contact with her steadily, and closed the door behind her. She was vaguely concerned by the gesture, for what might people think if they knew that the pair of them were alone in a room with the door shut when they were still unmarried? The gossip that could result from such a thing might well dwarf whatever had actually happened between them in the valley the previous day.
