Because he was not enough. Because he never would be.
Alex awoke and rose again, sullen and prickly, his bloodshot and dark-ringed eyes seeming to dare anyone to cross him that morning. The servants recognized that look well, and scurried out of his way, doing all they could to remain unnoticed by him so they would not earn the harsh rebukes he was known for doling out when in moods such as this one.
Bryan and Kirk intercepted him on the way to the Dining Hall. One look at Alex’s face, and Kirk winced. “I take it you didnae have a restful night, then, and that it’ll translate into a sparkling mood during breakfast?”
Before Alex could grumble an appropriately dismissive reply, Bryan chimed in: “Alex, I know you were displeased with how things transpired yesterday, and I know you’re likely all the more put out by a sleepless night…”
“Get tae the point,” Alex snapped. He was not in the mood to be “handled” by his advisors that morning. In fact, if he’d had his way, he wouldn’t have had to interact with anyone at all for the rest of the day.
But being laird often meant that one did not get to do as one wished. Duty came first, no matter how ponderous it might be.
“My only point is that you might attempt tae show a bit of patience this morning, rather than flying into a rage if things don’t go your way in every particular,” Bryan went on. “Even if it goes against your inclination, even if the lass does nae adhere tae your expectations down to the smallest particular.”
“Aye, you’re right,” the laird shot back sarcastically. “I ought tae go along with marrying her nae matter how churlish and disagreeable she turns out tae be. ‘For the good of the clan,’ aye? Never mind that I’m the one who’ll have tae spend the rest of his bloody life with her.”
“No one is asking you tae marry someone you deem unworthy or unpleasant,” Kirk hastened to add. “Merely that you… try to keep an open mind, that’s all. Rather than obsessing over every tiny detail. There’s more tae consider here than mud on a dress. Especially after…”
But a dark look from Alex closed Kirk’s mouth, for it was clear he did not wish to be reminded of the pitfalls of his previous betrothal given the foul mood he was currently in.
“I will pass time with her, and find out for myself whether she will make a suitable bride,” Alex said stonily. “And aye, I will keep in mind the stakes involved in this union. Beyond that, I make nae promises.”
“Beyond that, we seek none,” Kirk assured him smoothly, shooting an anxious glance at Bryan.
They marched the rest of the way in silence.
When he arrived for breakfast with his two companions in tow, he found Isla and Elspeth waiting for him at the table. Both of them rose at once to greet him, and he was astonished to see how different Isla looked from her arrival the previous day. Indeed, it was almost difficult for him to believe she was the same woman.
All of the mud was gone, naturally, and her dark hair had been re-styled into a wide plait down her back, with a green ribbon tied around it. Her pale and swan-like neck was exposed, and she wore a lovely brown dress decorated with green bows, which complimented her wide and shining eyes. Her delicate white hands were clasped in front of her, as though she was prepared to studiously repeat her lessons before a particularly exacting tutor.
In short, now that she was properly presentable, she was one of the most beautiful lasses Alex had ever laid eyes on. He was surprised by his sudden attraction to her, and did all he could to hide it and keep his composure, reminding himself that even though she was cleaner and more composed than she’d been the previous day, she was still the girl who’d arrived in that muddy and frightful condition without a care for what sort of impression it would make.
“A pleasure to see you both again,” he mumbled upon entering.
Elspeth gave him another deep curtsey and nudged Isla to do likewise. “We are honored by your presence,” Elspeth said ingratiatingly.
She turned to look at Isla expectantly, and the lass cleared her throat, giving him a wide smile. “Yes, ‘tis a pleasure indeed to sit down with you at last, Laird Alex.”
Well, she was certainly well-mannered enough, when she had to be. That was something, anyway, he supposed. He sat at the head of the table and helped himself to the food that was waiting for him.
As Bryan and Kirk took their places and began to eat, they gave each other furtive yet hopeful smiles.
“I have heard that your father is poorly, Laird Alex,” Isla said, ignoring the food in front of her, “and that this is the reason the lairdship of the Oliphants has been entrusted tae you.”
“You have heard correctly, then,” Alex replied evenly. His father was not generally his favorite topic of conversation, but he supposed that she was attempting to show politeness with her inquiry.
“Do the healers believe his prospects tae be favorable?” she followed up.
Alex cleared his throat. “Nay, they do not, else I would nae have been elevated tae such a position while he yet lived.” He took a deep breath, reminding himself to remain calm in the face of this ostensibly innocent line of questioning. “In fact, the healers believed he’d expire long before now. He continues tae cling tae life, though, every bit as strong and stubborn as he ever was.”
“Traits you’ve nae doubt inherited, it seems, given how impressively strict and firm your rule over this clan is said tae be,” she remarked.
Alex peered at her, tilting his head. Was she making sport of him?
If she was, though, she gave no sign. She seemed genuinely admiring of him based on her tone and expression, and eager for his response.
“I… flatter myself that I take after him in his finer qualities,” Alex responded slowly.
And that I’ve managed tae avoid taking on his less favorable ones, he added mentally.
