EJ doesn’t ask how old I am, not at dinner, nor when he comes back to my house a month in. I don’t volunteer it, but I figure he can tell. He traces his finger across the lines on my face, the silver in my hair. He makes me feel beautifulbecauseofthem, not in spite of them. He doesn’t judge or get annoyedwhen I forget words mid-sentence and have to pause. He looks at me like he really sees me, like he wants to.
I forget how much I missed that, how good it feels.
Michael and I had a messy divorce, but I loved him dearly. Sometimes I wonder if we might’ve fixed things, reconciled someday. If we could’ve had one of those post-divorce rekindling moments they make such a fuss about in all the rom-coms.
But we never got the chance. He’s been gone nearly a decade now. Some days I still wake up reaching for him.
I didn’t think I needed anyone else. I’m happy. With Corinne, Taylor, and Lewis. With my books and my painting. I’m fulfilled.
I don’t need anyone, butwant…that’s something else entirely, isn’t it? EJ makes me feel desired again. Interesting again. Alive.
When I brought up the idea of him meeting my daughter, I worried he’d think it was too soon, but he was overjoyed by the idea. He’s different from most men his age. Serious. Committed.
And so, here we are. At dinner with my only daughter.
“She’s fiercely smart,” I warn him as we wait for her arrival. “Like her father was. But sharper-tongued than either of us. She’s also protective in the way people become when they lose a parent too early. A grandparent, too.” I wonder what Hazel would think of EJ. She’d probably tell me I’ve lost my mind.
“She sounds amazing,” EJ says, kissing my hand. “Like her mother.”
“She can be shy when she first meets you.”
“I can handle it.” He lifts his glass to his mouth with that charming smile of his.
I add the last two points I should warn him about silently, wringing my hands together in my lap.
She doesn’t like surprises.
She especially doesn’t like when people haven’t earned their place in our lives.
“Oh.” I pause, thinking as he watches me. “Don’t be offended if she’s a little cold at first. When she meets people, it takes her a while to open up, but once she trusts you, you’re stuck with her for the long haul.”
“Then I’ll just have to earn her trust.”
He never seems bothered. Never worried. He adjusts the watch on his wrist, but not in a way that seems like he’s rushing. It’s just a habit.
His phone buzzes, but he silences it. He could be busy as a bee with showings and listing appointments, but he always makes time for the things that are important to me.
When Corinne enters the restaurant, I spot her right away. I stand, hand over my shoulder.
I wonder if she’ll notice the sapphire earrings Michael gave me years ago for one anniversary or another. I want her to know I haven’t forgotten him. This was never about that.
She’s right on time, dressed in a black dress with dark lipstick. Beautiful as ever. She kisses my cheek, then turns to EJ, who stands and holds out a hand.
Her smile is cool, polite, but her eyes are not. She takes his hand. “You must be EJ. My mom’s told me…almost nothing about you.” Her words aren’t sharp, but there’s no warmth to them. She’s caught off guard by his age, I know. I should have warned her.
EJ, if he’s offended, takes it in stride. His charm oozes out as he smiles, shakes his head, and gestures for her to sit. “Well, she’s told me quite a lot about you.” He compliments her book next, telling her he read it and found it “intriguing and unique in all the right ways.”
He lifts his glass to his lips, then pauses to add, “A bit cutting too, if I’m being honest.”
She nods. “Thanks. I never meant for it to be polite.”
We switch subjects, eating and talking about everything under the sun. EJ tries, bless him, but Corinne fences him with every word, shutting down his charm and dodging his compliments as if they were knives.
When he steps out to take a call, a heavy silence falls over the table. I let out a sigh full of anticipation, watching her.
When she doesn’t say anything, I prod. “Well?”
“He seems nice.” Her voice is neutral, not giving me any indication of how she truly feels, though I suspect I know.
