I see Queen Lucelle, her perfect features twisted with disgust:“A bastard half-breed. You will never belong in either world.”
I see myself running, chased by monsters with red eyes and too many teeth, their snarls filling the air around me. The baying of a wolf pack as I am suddenly back in Willow Woods, running for my life through tangled underbrush that tears at my skin. I collapse forward, tripping over a tree branch and land face first not onto forest floor but plush blue carpet.
I look up to see Locke kneeling before my father, the fae court watching in judgment. The grand hall stretches endlessly, filled with beautiful, cold faces staring down with contempt and curiosity. Torchlight glints off jewelry and weapons, casting dancing shadows across the marble floors.
“I failed her,” he says, his voice hollow with grief. “I loved her, and I lost her.” Blood drips from a wound at his temple, running down his face like crimson tears.
The sight of him covered in blood, so much blood leaves me shaking on the floor of the Great Hall. My father goes to speak but I plummet into darkness before I can hear his judgment, the floor opening beneath me like a trapdoor.
“You had a choice. You chose to lose it all and for what?”Goddess Ourea’s voice booms out, surrounding me completely as I fall through endless darkness. Her disappointment cuts deeper than any blade. “Until you know who you are, you will die.” She laughs, the sound like breaking glass, and I’m suddenly falling faster.
Down.
Down.
Down.
My life flashes before my eyes, but there’s darkness everywhere. Snippets of memory, my mother’s smile, my first day at HellNight Academy, the moment I met Micah, all of it rushing past me as I plummet through the void.
The voices taunt me again, cruel and vicious, but there are the voices of those who care about me as well. I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know what to truly believe. They overlap and echo, a cacophony of doubt and faith battling for dominance in my mind.
Micah:“You’re stronger than you know. You always have been.”
Sam:“We do this together. I won’t let you face this alone.”
Rue:“Be the badass queen. The one they’ll write legends about for centuries.”
“You’re a mistake.”
“You’re an embarrassment.”
“You’re not enough.”
“Weak!”
“A wannabe Blue Mountain witch!”
I feel as if I’m falling for an eternity as I scream. I scream for someone to help me. To catch me, to save me, but I’m left flailing wildly through the void, my hands grasping at nothing but empty air. The darkness seems to thicken around me, pressing against my skin like a physical weight.
“No one is going to save you. No one ever has. Only you. Who are you? Esme. . .”
I hear my mother’s voice again, clearer now, cutting through the chaos. I close my eyes tight, focusing inward, ignoring all the negative thoughts and dig down deep inside myself. Past the fear, past the doubt, to something solid and unshakeable at my core, the truth I’ve always known but been afraid to claim.
“I am enough!” I scream out as a blast of magic bursts from me, stopping my fall, leaving me suspended in air. The darkness splinters like shattered obsidian as I’m faced with that haunting voice again, more insistent now.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Esmeralda,” I say, chest heaving with the effort of holding myself against the pull of the void. “And I’m Soraya. I’m both. I’m a Tether and a mate. A daughter of the mountains and the sky.” My voice grows stronger with each word, power resonating in every syllable. “I am not defined by what I lack, but by what I choose. And I choose to be whole.”
Magic explodes all around me, light so bright I have to shield my eyes with my arm, the radiance pushing back the darkness until there’s nothing but brilliance surrounding me. It feels like being born again, painful and beautiful all at once.
I wake gasping on the floor of the cave, the sound of dripping water so far in the distance and my beating heart in my ears, my only company. Every muscle aches as if I’ve fought a physical battle, though my wounds are invisible.
Moonlight streams from above through a crack in the ceiling I hadn’t noticed before, painting me in silver. Where the beam hits my skin, I cry out as I watch it brand my forearm with a glowing rune. The pain is excruciating, like being burned and frozen simultaneously. I can only assume it is the symbol of self but I’m unsure. I watch the rune fade until I’m left with what looks like a white tattoo against my dark skin and although it stings like a bitch, I let out a shaky breath and smile. I made it.
Light shines from the opening of the cave as I slowly make my way out in a daze. My legs tremble beneath me, threatening to give way with each step. I’m unsure of what I envisioned and shaken by what I witnessed, the images still vivid behind my eyes when I blink.
The path back is much shorter now. What felt like hours only takes a few minutes, as if the forest itself is eager to return me. The trees part for me as I stagger into the clearing, their branches swaying as if in approval.
