“Right, Cassie’s little sister. You don’t look much like her.”
How sweet. Yes, I didn’t look anything like my beautiful sister. I didn’t respond.
“No, I mean, you’re super-hot, in a different way. Your boobs are great.” Gee, thanks. He appraised my chest for a moment. It did practically glow in the neon under the bar lights. I thought that he was probably already drunk.
“Starting a tab or is this it?” I asked, plunking the beer downand sloshing some out.
“Cassie was just everybody’s wet dream. Such a fucking hot little bitch.” The light glinted off his gold wedding ring. “You’re not like that. You’re like the hot librarian everyone wants to screw because she looks so uptight, but you know she’d be a fucking tiger in bed.”
Barf.Barf.BARF.
I started to walk away, and he called, “You and Cassie aren’t really related, right?”
I froze. “Cassie’s my sister.”
He was shaking his head. “No, no. I remember the story because Loretta cleaned our house. She was our cleaning lady,” he clarified, to make sure I understood he was demeaning her. And me. “I remember when you came to live with them. Cassie’s dad had screwed around on her and made you, right?”
I felt my whole body get hot, then cold. “I’ll start a tab.” I walked over to Roy. “Can you handle the bar? I’m busy with the tables.”
I watched Nick out of the corner of my eye, as he chugged his beer and then another, and then another, and then left.
∞
When the alarm started beeping on Saturday morning, I wanted to beat it to death with a stick. Too early! Too early! But then I remembered. It was Luke day! I leaped out of bed and into the shower, which was freezing and didn’t warm up the entire time I bathed. I was gasping with the cold by the time it was over. But at least I was very, very awake.
Still shivering from the arctic shower, I took a long time to dry and brush out my hair, and I put on mascara and a little blush. And a lot of concealer for the dark circles under my eyes. Then I went down to the kitchen, made the sandwiches and packed up Charlie’s snacks (the food at the meets was both gross and overpriced), and put together a quick breakfast for him before prodding him out of bed. While he got dressed, I made up a tray for Cassie and snuck it into her room, then went to the basement to see if there was something obvious wrong with the water heater. I poked around it a little, but the thing seemed absolutely dead other than the small, flickering flame of the pilot light. I honestly had no idea what to look for, so I went back up to load the car. I was gathering the supplies from the garage, yawning, when Luke pulled up.
“Good morning,” I called, waving to him in the half-darkness. It was exactly 5:30. I loved punctuality.
“Morning,” he called back, walking over to my growing pile. “What is all this?”
“Charlie’s swim bag, a pillow for him to nap with in the car, extra towels, a change of clothes, folding chairs because we’ll be sitting in a gym, a bag with snacks, our cooler with lunch, a blanket so he can sit on the floor, some games, and books,” I explained. “And I have two Sharpies in my pocket so I can write his heat and lane on the back of his hand when they post his events. And a boombox because the radio in the Bronco doesn’t work. And somebody’s old mix tapes that I found in the garage. I’m not going to vouch for the musical taste.”
“I thought you just needed a swimsuit to swim,” Luke said, eyeing my pile.
“I wish.” I started carrying the chairs to the car. “I have a chair for you, just in case you didn’t BYO.”
He held out his hand to take the chairs from me. “Why don’t we take my car? There’s plenty of room.”
“Really?” It would be a lot faster trip if we could go over fifty miles per hour. And I wouldn’t be putting all those miles on the Bronco.
“Sure,” he said, also grabbing the cooler and tote bag. “We won’t even need the boombox.”
Charlie wandered out on the porch, yawning, and holding his large stuffed dog, Danny Bob. Apparently he needed some moral support this morning. He gaped when he saw that we were going in Luke’s car. “Your car is so shiny,” he gushed. “It smells good.”
“By that he means, it doesn’t smell like something has been living in it,” I explained to Luke. Something had made a home in Nana’s car for a while after she died. I pretended it was a bunny. “I just want to check on Cass really quick.” I quietly ran up the stairs while they got settled in the car. She looked so tiny beneath all the blankets I had piled on her. Tara had worked the night shift at the hospital, and was going to come by and check on Cassie when she got off work, so I tried to push away my guilt at leaving her for the day to do something fun. Sort of fun. I loved watching Charlie swim, but sitting around the gym with the other parents between his events wasn’t really my cup of tea, especially since Tara wouldn’t be there.
But maybe Luke and I would hang out. I bit my lip and ran through my mental list of forbidden conversational topics. Off limits were Cassie, cancer, money problems, the El D, and getting mauled at Roy’s. Also my parentage, Charlie’s lack of supervision, Nana’s death, and home repairs. That still left a few things we could still talk about.
Luke plugged the pool address into the GPS and we started down the road, Charlie dozing on his pillow in the back seat covered by Danny Bob the dog. I looked back at him and yawned hugely. How ladylike, I could almost hear Nana scolding me.
“Late night?”
“Not too bad,” I answered. Roy had let me leave a half-hour early. He said I looked like I was coming down with something after my conversation with Nick Barnes. I didn’t explain that it was just a permanent case of mortification about my dad and his extramarital affairs, mixed with a splash of despair about the rest of my family. Luke kept looking over at me.
“You have a little something—something’s on your cheek,” he told me.
I flipped down the mirror in the visor. There was a streak of black muck from my ear to my nose.
