I have another glass of wine, and the guys tell me crazy stories about things that have happened on the ice and in the locker room. They share some of the trash talk they’ve heard and used, and I pull out my phone to take some notes. As Celena said, I want to write a book eventually, and some of this is gold.
The bouncer lets a few women through later on, and the guys welcome them to join us. Whether they’re actual bunnies or just a group of girls out for some fun who thought they’d try their luck with the hot men having a private party in the corner, I’m not sure, but their arrival is my cue to leave. The guys have been more than gracious, and I don’t want to get in Ash’s way if he wants to find a friend for the night.
He’s clearly a bit horny. His arm found its way around my shoulders early on, and his other hand spent the evening keeping my leg warm, even after Drew left.
Truthfully, it’s nice to be touched again. Ash noted earlier how responsive my body was, and it always has been, but it’s even more so now after a year of celibacy.
I stand up, and Ash’s hand falls from my leg for the first time since we sat down. His finger has been tracing patterns on my thigh for at leasttwenty minutes, while his other hand has been playing with my hair. I’ve barely been able to focus on anything else, and I desperately need to get home to have some quality time with my toys.
“Thank you for a great night,” I say to the guys as I grab my clutch. “That was fun.”
“Leaving already?” Kelsier asks. “It’s not even a school night.”
“It’s been a long week,” I say.
Ash stands. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“That’s not necessary,” I say. “Stay and have fun.”
I survey the group of women with us who seem less-than-happy he’s leaving. The woman sitting on his other side who’s been trying to get his attention away from me since she arrived looks especially put out.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ash says, oblivious to their disappointment. “I’m not letting you trek all the way back to the garage alone. You can get lost in this place.”
True. These casinos are built like mazes to keep people in. I only had two glasses of wine before I switched to cran and seltzer, so I’m entirely sober, but finding my way back to the right garage will still be iffy. The company might be nice.
I shrug and head for the door with Ash on my heels. The bouncers wish him a good evening by name, and we head down an escalator to the main floor. My breath hitches as Ash slips an arm around me, and we walk in silence for a few seconds before he speaks.
“You really let that asshole cancel on you four times?” he asks as we pass a giant sculpture of hand-blown glass by Dale Chihuly.
“There are a lot of things I’m confident about,” I say. “Relationships aren’t one of them. I convinced myself he was just afraid to get close, that he’d come around eventually. By the fourth time, I was expecting the cancellation. I waited for it all day. I was so anxious I could barely eat. When the text finally came in, I was both devastated and relieved.”
I don’t know why I’m telling him this.
He’s quiet, and I find him scowling when I look over.
“I’d have kicked the shit out of him if I knew that earlier,” he says.
I smile. “Probably not a good idea to get into fights off the ice too.”
“You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
I shrug. I want to make some comment about how women often endure much worse, but I remain silent. Rape, abuse, gaslighting, being fucked then dumped are common. In the grand scheme, what Drew did was crappy, but not nearly as bad as what many women go through.
I once had to sleep with a guy just to get him to leave my place. I didn’t want to have sex with him, but he pushed until I finally agreed, just to get him to go. I lay there counting the minutes until he finished while he grunted above me. He called the next day and chatted on while I gave one-word responses. I declined to see him that day and finally broke things off the next when I realized I couldn’t stomach seeing him again.
I couldn’t claim it was rape. I’d consented to everything he did, but it was under duress, and I felt assaulted the next day nonetheless.
“I’m really glad you came out tonight,” Ash says as we head down the hallway toward the parking garage. “The guys think you’re great.”
I smile again. “They’re a fun group. Thank you for inviting me out.”
We head into the garage, and I try to remember where the hell I parked my car. I press the unlock button on my fob and see the taillights flash down toward the right.
“I’m right there,” I say. “I should be fine from here.”
Ash just puts a hand on my back and steers me toward the car. When we get there, I turn to say goodbye to him, but he’s closer than I expect, and I step back so I bump against the car.
“Thanks for walking me to my car,” I say. Every nerve in my neck and scalp are alive at how close he is. God, he really is nice to look at.
