I skate like a madman down the ice, and for the first time in a while I feel like myself. I check someone hard and take control of the puck. I streak back down the ice the other way, but they’re already on me. I pass to Bouchard, but two seconds later, he passes it right back to me.
I don’t think. I just shoot.
The puck somehow slips past two defensemen and between the goalie’s knees. Elation shoots up my spine as I score my first goal of the regular season.
The away crowd gives a collective groan as my teammates swamp me.
“Fuck yeah!” Bouchard shouts as he claps me hard on the shoulder. “That’s more like it, Gunny!”
We all skate past the bench for congratulatory fist bumps, and then it’s time to reset. I end my shift half a minute later, but I’m jazzed now.
When I get back on after we cycle through again, though, something has changed. Fig and Mack got into it with a couple of Leafs during their time on the ice when Toronto scored a goal that nearly took out Kingston, so now there’s extra tension. More than that, I’m a target for having scored that first goal. On my next possession, I get crunched against the boards so hard it knocks my skates out from under me, and I fall forward onto my knees.
“You look good on your knees, Gunnarsson,” the guy who hit me says as he skates away.
The chirping has started, and my anger flares. I surge to my feet, ready for a fight.
By the end of the second period, we’ve had two good brawls, and the Leafs have kept up a steady stream of trash talk whenever they get the chance. I’ve missed three more shots on goal, at least one of which I should’ve made, and I’m starting to lose my cool.
As we head into the locker room for the second intermission, I’m barely holding it together. Whatever confidence I had before is long gone,and I’m pissed at myself for falling apart.
Alright fine. I’mashamedof myself for falling apart, and that’s pissing me off. Apparently the doc was right about the whole shame-rage thing.
“You okay, Gunny?” Kelsier asks when we’re back in the locker room.
“Yeah, fine,” I lie.
His look says he knows that’s bullshit.
“Hold it together, man,” he says. “We’re in this. We need you to find some of that mojo you had at the beginning of the period.”
We need you.
The words hit home as my last conversation with the doc about my ideal image flashes through my mind. I want to be the guy they can count on, but I’m letting them down.
Chapter 10
Ash
A few days later, I head down to the guard station at the administrative entrance of the arena and training center to meet Doc Mackey. The guard just called to tell me she was here, and I snuck out of the locker room while Mack and The Don were having an argument over whether jock itch was a fungal infection or a bacterial one.
It’s not an argument I need to witness, nor one I want to know why they’re having.
I turn the corner and catch sight of the doc waiting by the metal detector. She told me to call her Gray, but I’m still having trouble getting that to roll off my tongue. I always called my professors in college “Professor” or “Doctor,” so wrapping my brain around calling her by her first name will take some getting used to.
It also doesn’t help that she’s wearing a suit today, although I notice it looks really good on her. It’s navy blue and tailored perfectly to her body, so it shows off her curves. The skirt reaches just above her knees, and she’s wearing a pair of low, red heels that accentuate the arc of perfect calves. Her hair is tied back in a jaunty ponytail that looks like every hair has been assigned its place and told not to move.
I feel like I’ve met three different Gray Mackeys so far – the frumpy professor, the casual academic, and the consummate professional – and I’m curious to know which is the real one.
“Doc, I mean, Gray,” I say, heading toward her. “Glad you could make it.” I turn to the middle-aged guard she’s been talking to. “I’ll take her from here, Ben.”
“Thanks, Mr. Gunnarsson,” the man says before heading back inside his office. I’ve told him at least twice to call me Ash, but for the first time I understand his reluctance to use my first name.
Ben offered to have someone bring the doc up, but I figured it would be better to come get her and introduce her to everyone gradually, rather than throw her directly into the lion’s den. I’ll take her up to see the coaching staff first, and afterward I’ll have Kelsier meet us somewhere. Once I’ve eased her in, I can bring her to see the rest of the guys.
“You look great,” I say. “I like the suit.”
She gives me a small smile. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure what to wear, but I decided business was the way to go.”
