Damn it, I did the right thing, and she took it in stride—so why do I feel so fuckin’ bad?
MARTINA
I leave The Tropics in a haze, replaying Diesel’s words. Knowing he’s right. We didn’t have a chance in hell of working out. My own brother stabbed him in a cartel power struggle. He is older than me, much more experienced in life and in sex. He made it all sound so logical and clear, yet the ache in my chest radiates throughout my entire body.
Silent tears wet my cheeks as I walk the twenty-five minutes back to the fight club, but the pain in my chest grows. Maybe hearts truly can break.
I enter the gym, looking for Maxie, and see her through the glass partition surrounding Blood’s office. I knock, enter, and they stare at me as if waiting for some huge revelation.
I focus on Maxie. “If you can get me ready, I want to fight Saturday night.”
“Sure, hon.” She exchanges a quick look with Blood. “Go get changed, and I’ll be out in ten.”
I exit the office and head for the locker rooms. I have no idea what my future holds, or where I’ll be living next week, but for once I’m doing something for myself. Not worrying aboutletting my mother down, or fixing Eduardo’s problems, just me doing something for me. And it feels damn good.
CHAPTER 24
Fight Night
DIESEL
“You’re not even gonna go watch her fight?” Blood asks.
I throw back another shot. “What for?” I slam the shot glass down on his desk in the gym.
“‘Cause for the last week, you’ve been acting like a pussy. Avoiding Martina in the gym, moping around.”
“For once in my miserable life, I did the right thing.” It was the only thought I could hold on to, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
“Don’t you know outlaws can’t do the right thing? It messes with our equilibrium.”
“You might be right.”
“And you look like shit.”
“Maybe you forgot I got slashed six days ago?” The ache in my side is nothing compared to the gnawing pain in my chest. Like I’d taken a sledgehammer to my heart. Geez, fuck, maybe this is what they call a broken heart.
“The look on your face has nothing to do with being stabbed and everything to do with kicking Martina to the curb. I thinkwhat really burns your ass is that she just accepted what you said without a fight.”
Blood has this annoying fucking way of looking into my brain.
I pour another shot and hold up the glass. “I think I’m just buzzed enough so that bullshit makes sense.”
“Hate to tell you, brother. You’re way past buzzed. You’re right between drunk and falling-down sloppy.”
“Give me time, I’ll get there.”
“Why don’t you do yourself and the rest of us a favor and just tell her how you really feel? Without the bullshit of you being an outlaw or too old. Although, you are getting older than dirt.”
“Fuck you.” I drag my fingers through my hair. “That’s the thing, I don’t know how I feel.”
“Bullshit!” Blood grabs the bottle of Jack away from me. “Do you think about her when you’re not with her?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you worry about her when you’re not with her?”
“Yeah.”
