I looked at Hart. “You want to change things on Toro’s menu. You want to expand Horned and Charred and Musik, look at properties, build out new locations. All things I couldn’t fathom before. Fuck, I wouldn’t even return one of your goddamn emails.”
Hart shook his head. “Don’t get me started on you and emails.”
“I couldn’t even attend the grand opening of Horned SanAntonio, because I was so fucking buried in Charred that I couldn’t pull myself out. I don’t want that anymore. I want to be there, I want to see the results of our hard work.” I paused. “I want to love this company again.” I let out a deep breath. “But I can’t help it grow or help it be better in the current position I’m in.”
“You lost the love,” Beck said, pulling at the strings of his hoodie. “I can’t even fucking imagine if I felt that way about hockey.”
“But I’ve felt that way about cooking for a long time. I don’t want to live that way anymore. I don’t want to be fucking miserable. I want to want to be in the kitchen. I want to want to create new menu items.”
The room turned silent.
I had no idea what any of them were thinking, but their opinions wouldn’t change my mind.
This was the right move. Even saying the words out loud to them was making me feel better.
“It’s the end of an era.” Eden’s smile was small, but it was there. “I’m proud of you for coming to this conclusion. I know it’s been a long time coming.” She pulled her blazer closed and buttoned it.
“I’m fucking shocked,” Hart said. “I just thought … you’d be at Charred forever.”
“I think everyone thought that.” I leaned back in my chair. “But I think you all know this is the right move. If you didn’t believe that, one of you motherfuckers would be arguing with me right now. I don’t hear any of you doing that.”
Hart nodded, and so did Beck.
Colson put his hands behind his head as he reclined in his chair. “Charred LA is our busiest location. It’s going to take someone exceptional to fill your role. Do you have someonein mind?”
“Once the rumor gets out that I’m leaving, we’ll be flooded with applicants,” I explained. “But Keith deserves a shot at the job. He’s put up with my shit for far too long. He might not know how to cook a goddamn scallop, but he’s more than qualified.”
“I think he’s a good option,” Eden voiced. “I also think we should interview a slew of other candidates.”
“We will,” I told her.
“No more Charred …” Beck was bouncing in his chair, and he took the hood of his sweatshirt off his head, revealing hair that still looked wet. “You’re going to have so much free time, you’re not going to know what to do with yourself.”
“That’s not true,” I countered. “I’m probably going to be in the office since I’d like to be more hands-on with the day-to-day. I’ll be in the kitchen, working on menu items. And I’ll be at Alivia’s—the restaurant.”
“I had a feeling you were going to work with her a bit,” Hart said, tapping his pen on the table. “I didn’t think she was going to be the only one in the kitchen of that restaurant.”
“She can handle it,” I said. “She doesn’t need me. But I want to be there. I want to cook with her. I want to watch her dreams come true.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Seeing her grow and knowing I’ve been a part of that has been inspiring. I never thought I’d have any interest in helping others. Shit, I couldn’t even help myself. But I’ve liked mentoring her. And I think that’s something I’d like to tap into more. Say, travel to some of the other Charred locations, along with Toro and Horned, and work with the head chefs, bringing out the best in them.”
“I fucking love this idea,” Hart said. He licked the inside of his bottom lip as he stared at me, his eyes narrowing. “But I just want to make sure of something … what you find in those kitchens, it can’t make you explode. The last thing this company needs is to have a mass exit of chefs after you chew their asses out.”
I chuckled. “I’ll play nice.”
“You don’t know how to do that.” Colson smirked.
“I don’t know …” I scrunched my lips together. “I think I might have it in me. I’ll have to dig, but it’s there.”
“Walker”—Eden put her fingers on my arm—“I think once you’re away from Charred—in the executive chef role, I mean—you’re going to feel completely different about everything. The separation is going to bring out a whole new you.” Her head tilted as she looked at me. “I already see a difference. I even hear you’re barely drinking anymore.”
“Who told you that?” I asked.
She released my arm. “I have my ways of finding things out about all of you.”
I’d seen Alivia and Eden chatting at Charred on several different occasions, and I had a feeling some of that conversation had been Eden checking up on me. It didn’t bother me. Eden would forever be worried about all of us.
“You heard correctly,” I said. “I’m sure some of that has to do with Alivia not being a drinker, and maybe some of it has to do with how badly I’d been relying on whiskey to get me through life.”Some people don’t like to let it all out, in fear that once those words are spoken, they can’t take them back.Except my family deserved to hear the truth even if it was hard to admit. “I’m not saying I had a problem. But the amount I was drinking wasn’t helping the problem. Now, when I do sip a bourbon, it’s for an entirely different reason. And I feel really good about that.”
“You should,” Eden agreed.
