“I’m going to send you fifteen hundred dollars for the coat tree, and I’ll be there as soon as I can to get it.”
Her gasp is immediate. “Are you serious?”
“Well, we both know it’s not worth three grand.”
“Hell, it ain’t worth fifteen hundred, either. It’s probably not worth one hundred and fifty dollars, if we’re taking the blanket off the baby.”
“So you were extorting me!” I laugh.
“Yeah, when I didn’t know you. But now that I do, I can’t cheat ya. Dammit, anyway.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m sending you the money. I hope it gets you on a boat and a working dick.”
“Oh, Gianna. Thank you. You have no idea how much …” She sniffles, crying softly. “Just thank you.”
My eyes fill with tears as I listen to her disbelief. She’s right—the coat tree isn’t worth a third of that price. But sometimes it’s not about the money. It’s about what good the money can do. And if it can give my girl Pearl a trip to remember with her old hag Jeretta, then I’d be an asshole to stand in their way.
I open my Social app, find her name, and send her the money. A green check mark loads on my screen.
“There you go,” I say. “The coat tree is mine.”
“Bless your little heart, Gianna.”
“I’ll message you about when I’m coming for it, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you again. Thank you so much.”
I smile from ear to ear. “You’re welcome. I’ll take good care of it.”
“I know you will,” she says before the line goes dead. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Pearl.”
The grin still on my lips, I pull up my text app and find Audrey’s name.
Me: So what about a cruise?
Audrey: For what?
Me: I just got off the phone with a friend, and she’s going on a cruise to spend her money so her kids don’t get it and to find a man—probably a sugar daddy by her extortionist abilities. Although she sounds eighty. I’m not sure if it qualifies as a sugar daddy at that age. What would it be? Powdered sugar?
Audrey: Oh, Gianna.
“A laughing emoji is better than no emoji,” I say, typing again.
Me: So cruise?
Audrey: I’m good. But thank you.
Me: I have a boyfriend now so no sex parties. Want to take a girls’ trip somewhere? Me and you? Astrid if she can come? What about Kismet Beach in Florida? I think Banks Carmichael is married now, but we can still have a good time.
Audrey: Maybe.
Me: Yay! I’ll take that.
Audrey: Did you make your sourdough?
Me: No. Do you have any idea how many steps there are? It’s like feed it, stretch it, feed it, let it nap. I don’t do that for myself. I’m not about to do it for a blob of … whatever it is.
