“It’s a part of the fun of this whole thing. I have a window to say all the things I want to say before I have to go back to being your co-worker.”
His words from our date at Hess sear into my brain.
“You and I would never be together under normal circumstances. I want to fall in love and have a family.”
My chest constricts so tightly that I can barely breathe. It caught me off guard when he said it before, but thinking about it now, it hits differently. Those are his words, his confession—our truth, and nothing has changed.
He’s control, and I’m chaos. He’s disciplined, and I’m a disaster. He wants devotion, and I’m a disappointment, and there’s no way I can be anything different.
It’s only natural that Drake will want a wife who can be as warm and nurturing as Barb. I killed Matilda. He’s a slightlysmaller version of Big Ed, and it makes sense that he wants a big family, a dog, and tea ready in the kitchen. I can’t even get to my kitchen table, thanks to the aluminum-can butterflies.
There was a bird bath in the Bennett’s front yard. There’s a urinal in mine, for fuck’s sake.
Drake groans, rolling over and onto his back. His forehead wrinkles as if he’s deep in thought or pain.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, propping up on one elbow.
A smile ghosts his lips, and the wrinkling of his brow eases before my eyes. “Yeah. I love you.”
He mumbles something incoherent, still deep asleep, and I stare at him in disbelief.
Tears fill my eyes, clouding my vision. His hand brushes against mine, and he instinctively pulls me against him and holds me tightly. I don’t have the heart, nor the want, to extract myself from his arms.
My chest tightens, filling with a warmth so hot that it almost burns my ribs. A lump the size of Ohio seals my throat as I memorize the heat of his body, the sound of his breath, the smell of his skin.The feel of this moment.
Because I might have been wrong all along. Maybe love is a chemical reaction that you can’t control. But that doesn’t mean it’s smart to succumb to it … even if you want to.
I snuggle deeper against him, kissing his shoulder and squeezing my eyes shut.
“I love you, too,” I whisper, and try to fall asleep.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
Gianna
Drake: First thing Dad asked when I walked in the door was if you were coming. Guess you made quite the impression.
I smile at his text, pulling my visor down to shield my face from the early afternoon sun.
Audrey bops along to a song on the radio from the driver’s seat. She borrowed her dad’s truck for our trip to Pearl’s, so I didn’t object to her choice of music. Since I didn’t say anything inappropriate to her brother, who showed up unexpectedly, she didn’t choose bubble gum pop.
Me: What can I say? I’m an impressive girl.
Drake: There are many impressive qualities about you. If you’d like, I can name them off one by one tonight while you have my dick in your mouth.
Me: You sure know how to make a girl happy.
My core clenches at the thought of being on my knees in front of Drake. I’ve always loved giving blow jobs—there’s something innately powerful about making a man, no matter how alpha he thinks he is, lose control. But it’s become something more with Drake, something beyond knowing I can make him come undone with the flick of my tongue.
It’s not so much about the control of his pleasure. It’s kind of about giving up control of mine.
Drake: I try.
I know you do.
“Is that Drake?” Audrey asks, turning down the radio.
