It’s not quite where Kane wants it to be, but we’re getting there.
Not going to lie, I don’t get MC vibes when I’m there. It feels almost empty, which might have to do with the fact most of the men died alongside Killer.
All that was left were some kids, teenagers, really old men, and the women of the fallen men.
Having Kane’s men around helps, but I’ve been seeing more and more new faces coming around every week. The MC is starting to grow as well.
It’s a good thing, right? This is what Kane wanted.
But it wasn’t what Nick wanted. Okay, yes, he wants to rebuild everything so that the remaining people didn’t lose theirhomes, but I’ve heard how much the guys hated this life. They wanted to leave it, and they did.
Maybe this situation will give them a new perspective on MC life. Show them what it could have been like if a better person was in charge in the first place.
My life has changed, and I’d like to say it’s for the better. I love hanging out with the kids on the compound, and for the most part, the mothers have been willing to work with me and change to be better for their kids.
Julia is the only one putting in the bare minimum. Just enough to keep Kane from deeming her unfit and letting us take guardianship over Rica.
The guys haven’t really had much time to get to know her, too busy with club stuff. I want to change that, and maybe invite her over for sleepovers on the weekends.
As for my sex life... what sex life? I’m too tired by the time we get home to want to have my men. Since the guys were so engrossed in getting the club up and running, I decided to take suppressants to hold off my heats until we are at a better point in our lives.
I’m not going to lie, taking them has been amazing. Not having to worry about going into heat at any moment towards the end of the month, every fucking month, is nice.
If I could have afforded them back before I met the guys, I would have taken them regularly. Then maybe I wouldn’t have needed my ex and I could have saved myself a lot of time and money.
Speaking of my ex, I found out what the guys did. They didn’t kill him, but they did get him fired from his job and made it so that he couldn’t get another one.
I guess he moved in with my mom and she was taking care of him for a while. That was until she realized what a loser he is and went back to sleeping around with rich men.
How do I know all of this? The guys are keeping tabs on them, they have people back home watching them.
Whenever Ian has new information, he comes into the room like a giddy school girl dying to share the latest gossip. It’s pretty cute.
“I hope so.” Sofie, the designer smiles softly. “It was an honor to make it for her. And here.” She gives me an adorable pink bow. “To match.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
Once I pay, I head down the street of shops.
St. Mary’s didn’t have stores that offered what I needed for the party, so I took Will’s truck into Savannah to get everything.
Today has been amazing, and relaxing. No work, nothing to worry about. Just the fun of planning a little girl’s birthday party.
Ian wanted to be here with me, but he’s gotten more involved in the MC than he originally planned to, and has pretty much become the club’s treasurer.
Because they’re so busy, I’m home alone a lot. While I have Duchess and Petunia—the latter no longer hissing at me with disdain when I pick her up—it’s not the same. The house is too big, too quiet.
Ian has moved everything out of his room, and the place is officially mine. Still, nothing has changed because he spends every night in my room. They all do. Ian ended up ordering an Alaskan king size bed. It takes up most of the room, but I like that it’s not as open.
The next thing we’re working on is my nest. I have no idea what I want to do with it because back in my old place, I didn’t have the space for a real one. The best I got was a corner of the room that I filled with blankets and pillows. That's it. I want to make it perfect, that’s why I haven't gotten around to it yet.
I’m tired, physically drained, and honestly, done with all this MC stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. But also, I just want to take it easy for a while.
I don’t have to be at the compound, and Kane only gave me the order to make sure the kids had what they needed. Everything else I did on my own because I’d rather be at the compound and be useful, rather than sitting around at home doing nothing, alone.
In the past I’d have died to have so much free time on my hands, not needing to work twelve hour shifts for fuck-all in money.
I’m conflicted, okay? I’m a complicated woman.
