My breath catches.
Severed heads on pikes and tossed to the ground like trash, all with designation brands on their foreheads. Expressions lax, gaping mouths, shredded necks making them look torn off instead of cut. Piles of headless bodies burning in blazing infernos all along the background. On either side in the foreground are nude and chained people, mostly hulking men, wailing in agony, clawing at the scene before them, some at their own eyes.
Their silent screams are so palpable, I can hear them. The horror so intense, I feel it.
Bile works its way up my throat, and I swallow, double over, unable to catch my breath.
That would have been us. That would have been me and Zeph, dead, leaving Erich and Laurant behind to turn feral in mourning rage.
The world tilts, and Zephyr is there, scooping me into his arms, letting out a soothing shushing noise. He holds me tight as I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face in his neck, breathe in his calming scent.
It isn’t until we’re outside my dorm room that he speaks, and I realize we’ve left class. “Finger, love.”
I do my best to clear my head and place my finger on the biometric lock, allowing Zeph to bring me inside and shut the door behind us.
He gently places me on the bed, sits beside me, rubs my outer thigh in slow strokes. “You’re alright, darlin’,” he hums. “Breathe.”
His comforting words and actions soothe me, but also pull me out of the strange, alien despair I’d fallen into.
A heavy feeling fills my chest, a voice in my mind whispers on a hiss,You’re not the one who needs comfort.
The voice is right. I am stronger than this.
So, what happened to me? Unless… what if these feelings weren’t actually mine?
Sitting up, I take Zeph’s hand, a sense of calm washing over me.
How many times over the years had Zephyr needed the comfort he’s giving me right now, with no one there to help him? Every single night? Endlessly?
My gaze locks on Zephyr’s. On auto drive, I bring his hand to my sternum, never wavering eye contact, and just breathe, my palm to the back of his hand.
For a moment, his brows draw in confusion, then they slowly relax, his blinks calm, lids grow heavy, pupils dilate until his pale irises make up half the space. I squeeze his fingers, light butfirm, continuing to breathe steadily. I concentrate on Zephyr, his heart and mind, his spirit, shattered and aching, until I’m overwhelmed with sadness and fear that isn’t mine.
All the emotions he won’t let himself feel, everything he keeps pushed deep down inside and tries to bury.
My lips part on a silent sob as tears stream down my face.Hisunshed tears.
Neither of us moves. We stay connected as I hug his hand closer to my chest, feel the warmth of his skin, his pulse beginning to beat in time with mine.
“Nyx,” he says on a sigh, breaking our eye contact for the first time, pulling me into his strong embrace.
He’s tall and muscular enough to be mistaken for an Alpha, based on looks alone. But that sweet perfume of his gives his designation away immediately.
I have so many questions I want to ask. So much I want to learn about him. But I keep silent, wrap my arms around his torso, snuggle into his flesh and breathe him in. Connected, comforted.
“I wish I could purr for you.”
He chokes on the words that both shock me and break my heart.
I pull back to look at his beautiful face, angular yet soft, masculine and approachable. His cheeks are wet now, and I move my hands to wipe them dry with my fingers, lips parted in unvoiced question.
Why would he want to purr like an Alpha?
He presses his lips between his teeth before sniffing and sighing. His head drops and shakes, and I take his hand back in my grasp. I dare not speak. Instinct dictates he needs to work through this on his own. And I want what’s best for my Zeph.
His mouth opens and closes a few times before his body collapses in on itself, though he doesn’t take his hand from me.
“You can feel me,” he whispers.
