“Yes?” His voice murmured into her skin.
“For tonight.”
“For tonight.”
He stepped back from her.
Ritu popped her eyes open, just in time to see him reach for her shirt. She did not think. She did not have toconsciouslystop thinking. It switched off. And as he pulled her shirt off, as his eyes landed on her, softened, darkened, then intensified — Ritu left the panic, the fear, the sobs behind in the last moment as she was tugged into his arms, and into the next one.
9. Dil Mein Jagi Dhadkan Aise
— RITU —
The sun was in her eyes, mild but there.Sothere. Her body felt light. Lighter than it had felt last night, when she had thought it was at its lightest. Ritu felt every breath going in and out of her body. Slow. Deep. Relaxing. There was a man sleeping behind her, on his side of the bed. She smiled, thinking of his arm that had pulled her into himself last night before they had decided to call off their third round and go to sleep. They both were in an advanced decade of life, or at least — he was. His heart was in good condition, but needed rest and sleep to return to normal without any hitch. And, Ritu felt heat suffuse her neck at that thought — she had been scared of breaking down if he went on. Both physically and emotionally.
Last night had been… a liberation. A discovery. A good moment. In the silence of this morning, the memory of it felt even better.
His breaths behind her made deep, laboured sounds. He had not crossed the line or tried to pull her into himself after she had denied his invitation. Ritu didn’t need to look behind to see that he had rolled closer to her through the night though. The heat of him, the smell of him, the feel of him… she felt like crying happy tears. Who had ever imagined a moment like this would comefor her? Even if they returned to hating each other tomorrow, this washermoment. Even if she did not ever fall into another man’s bed, she would take this memory and live with it.
She smiled into the sunshine, the soft sounds of birdsong punctuating the wintery silence.
“You don’t need a cover or weight on your eyes from the sun, Doctor?” His heavy voice broke it.
“Are you taunting me?” She adjusted the silk eye mask that was pushed to her forehead, trying to sneakily pull it down to her eyebrows
A warm hand came to her shoulder, trailing down her bare arm and to her hand. Surprising her, his fingers meshed with hers. But he did not come closer. Or call her out on her sneaky move. That had been her excuse to sleep on her own, away from him. She needed some weight on her eyes. She really did. A pillow or a shawl or her trusty eye mask. He hadn’t fought it. He had just pulled the duvet over them both and waited until she had put on her white silk eye mask, turned and then slipped in behind her.
That had felt a little distant, but Ritu needed it. This morning though… even though he was farther behind her and she hadn’t seen his face yet, the hoarse texture of his voice, roughened from last night’s activities, made him feel more intimate than when he had actually been intimate.
“How long have you been awake?”
She really liked that rough voice. She could record it on her Voice Memo app and keep it locked in one folder for all of eternity. Her chest felt funny.
“Ritu?”
That’s when she turned. There was sudden concern in his voice. And, she had discovered last night, he never called her by her name unless he was serious.
She fell on her back and he came on his elbow, the worry on his face melting into a smile. The crumpled hair and welts on the side of his face aside, his beard was sticking out like somebody had shagged it. Her face felt warm, remembering who had. His smile widened.
“Why are you smiling at me?” She scowled.
“You look cute.”
“Cute?” Her scowl deepened. His hand reached out and fingered the eye mask she had forgotten was still half over her eyebrows.
He pushed it up her forehead and over her head — “May I assume that you are not going back to sleep now and won’t need this?”
“You may.”
“And may I assume you are ok with morning breath kisses?”
“Plural?”
“You won’t be able to stop at singular.”
She wanted to laugh. So bad. She bit the insides of her cheeks to hold back, and lengthen his agony. His face closed in on hers, his dark eyes coming closer and closer, his shiny pink mouth curved under that beard.
“It’s morning, Nilay.”
