Igroaned, rolling over in bed to glance at the clock. There was nothing I wanted more than to just sleep the day away, but Saturday was a busy day for my gym clients and since I was cutting out all my Monday through Friday appointments, the weekends were going to be busy.
Might as well work until I dropped. Wasn’t like I had a love life, or even a date life anymore. And honestly, that was probably a good thing. Maybe I should be single and celibate for the next few years just to give me time to think about my heart-breaking habit of falling for assholes.
Last night had been one of the most agonizing experiences of my life. I’d endured a week of Jordan over the moon about her reconciliation with Ozar all while hearing squat from Eng. Then I’d needed to sit through the game last night where he hadn’t even looked over at me. And for him to approach me at McHenry’s like nothing had changed, like he expected to be hiding his sausage in my muffin later that evening…
I burned with fury just thinking about it. All night I’d chatted with friends, flirted with guys, and steadily tried to ignore theway my gaze kept straying to the orc over at the bar arguing with Bwat.
Guess I better get used to it. Jordan and Ozar were absolutely a thing, so having the orcs around for social occasions and going to their games and other events was a given. Plus my new job. There was no way I could ignore Eng when he was part of the hockey team I was supposed to be getting into tip-top shape. No matter how pissed off I was at Eng, I would need to treat him the same as the rest of the orcs on the team.
And if he started showing up with another woman on his arm, I’d just have to swallow my pride and ignore the whole thing. The only saving grace was that I hadn’t told Jordan or Abby about our fling, and as far as Stephanie knew, the guy I’d been seeing was some nameless human. There would be no sympathetic looks every time we saw Eng, or questions about whether they should invite me to parties or games.
Rolling out of bed, I drank a glass of water, made a cup of dark roast, then got in the shower. Without looking at my phone, I shoved it into my bag, and left my apartment, tripping over a brown paper-wrapped package and sprawling onto the floor.
After letting out a few choice curse words, I stood and grabbed the package, noting that there was no address or shipping information on it. There was a brief moment of indecision where I weighed the amount of time I had to get to the gym versus the possible perishable nature of the package contents. Deciding I had time, I ripped off the brown paper and discovered a huge leg of lamb with still-frozen ice packs around it.
What. The. Hell.
With another quick glance at my watch, I went next door to Mr. and Mrs. Patton’s, and knocked. She answered in her usual robe and fuzzy slippers, her hair in neat silver pincurls covering her pink scalp as if they’d been glued on.
“Good morning, Mrs. Patton. Did you have a grocery delivery? Are you missing a leg of lamb?”
She shook her head. “We got our delivery last night and I don’t recall ordering lamb. Jerry! Did you order a butcher delivery! The neighbor is here holding a leg of lamb!”
I winced at the volume. Mr. Patton responded from somewhere deep in the apartment, yelling at the top of his voice as well.
“No! But we’ll take the lamb if she doesn’t want it!”
I took a step back before Mrs. Patton could snatch the package from my hand. If this meat was going unclaimed, then I was considering it mine. Finders keepers.
“I scoreda free leg of lamb this morning,” I told Stephanie as we ran side-by-side in what had become part of our friendship and exercise routine. “Nearly broke my neck falling over it just outside my apartment door. It was wrapped up in paper with ice packs too. Do you think there’s a meat fairy who delivers choice cuts to deserving single women?
Stephanie burst out laughing and nearly toppled off the treadmill. “A meat-fairy for deserving single women wouldn’t be delivering a leg of lamb, it would be delivering a hot guy with a big ole schlong.”
“I’m swearing off the schlongs, big or small for at least a year, so I’m glad it was a leg of lamb on my doorstep and not a hot guy,” I told her. “Remember the big mistake I’ve been sleeping with this month? Well, no surprise here, but he was absolutely a big mistake.”
Stephanie slowed her pace and shot me a sympathetic glance. “Ugh. I’m so sorry, Willa. What happened?”
I dropped to a walk because it was impossible to run and talk about this. Cardio and heartbreak did not mix.
“Everything seemed to be great. I mean, yeah I still wasn’t what he wanted in a long-term relationship, but we were at least doing things that involved us both having clothes on. He took me to dinner, and dancing, and we started spending the night at each other’s places. Then he was gone for a couple of weeks on business, and I didn’t hear anything from him. Nothing. Not even a text.”
“Fucker.” Steph growled. “I hate when they ghost you like that. At least have the courage to dump a girl to her face. I’m assuming he felt he was getting too emotionally involved, or that you were getting too emotionally involved, and he didn’t want things to get messy since he didn’t see the possibility of anything long-term between you two?”
“That’s what I figured, but then when he got back and I saw him last night after the game at McHenry’s, he came up to me as if he expected to pick up right where we left off.”
The werewolf slowed her treadmill to a walk as well. “So he wants to back things up? Return to sex-only?”
“Probably.” I picked up my towel and wiped my face. “And I acted like a complete psycho, because Iamemotionally involved. I don’t want to just go back to sex. And I was hurt that he didn’t even bother to call me or text me while he was gone, so I went off on him.”
Steph made a sympathetic noise. “You have every right to be hurt, Willa.”
“Do I?”
How could I have been so angry at Eng all night and this morning, and stand here doubting myself? Iwasa total mess. And I absolutely needed to go on a year of chastity to break this horrible destructive dating habit of falling for the wrong guys.
“The painful lesson is that you can’t do just sex.” Stephanie held up a hand to stop my protest. “Maybe you could years ago, but you can’t anymore. I can’t either, so it’s not like I’m calling you out on anything I haven’t told myself in the mirror over the last few months. We want love. We want a partnership. Just sex, no matter how good, doesn’t cut it anymore.”
I blew out a breath and leaned against the arm of the treadmill. She was right. I did want more. And my stupid heart was ready to try and shape Eng into my future partner no matter how up front he’d been about not wanting that with me at all.
