“I do, but I’ll take a pint of the Mobtown.” Abby smiled up at the waiter, her adorable dimples in full force. The guy smiled back. And with that I knew we’d have the best service of any table in the burger joint. Abby had that kind of effect on people. And I was happy to draft in the wake of her adorable, bubbly charm.
“How is the dating scene?” Jordan asked me once our beers had arrived and we’d placed our food order.
“Last night’s dinner with Dean was very promising, unlike a disastrous lunch with Paul.” I relayed the details of the lunch where Paul had spent more time texting someone on his phone than conversing with me, making the whole thing into acomedy routine. Then I briefly summed up my date with Dean, completely leaving out any mention of Eng since our encounters could hardly be considered dates.
“How about you?” I asked Abby.
She shrugged. “I’m on a dating hiatus while I regroup from the latest mistake. But I did cheer my niece on to a win at her field hockey game this week.”
I high-fived her, then turned to Jordan. “And now the news we’ve all been waiting for…how did the date with Ozar go?”
Jordan told us of an amazing dinner, romantic candles, and a rubber knife fight that had a very happy ending. It had been such a great date that she’d seen him again last night and the pair had this time ended up at her house with even more happy endings.
I’ll admit I felt a twinge of envy before I banished the feeling. Jordan deserved to hit the jackpot. Ozar sounded amazing, and from what I’d seen at McHenry’s the orc was besotted with my friend.
“Am I moving too fast?” Jordan asked.
“No!” Abby and I said in unison.
“When it’s good, it’s good,” Abby elaborated.
“Besides, you’re thirty. You know when there’s even a hint of a red flag at this point. Green means go,” I added.
Jordan laughed. “Well, since he is green then I guess go is the operative word.”
We went on to chat until Jordan dropped the bomb that had Abby and me ready to shop for bridesmaid dresses—Ozar had spent the night. And Jordan’s notoriously judgy cat had actually liked the orc.
If the cat didn’t chase a man away, then Jordan usually did. She guarded her heart, which meant she hadn’t had a man spend the night at her house in ages. In one week, this orc had charmed both my cautious friendandher prickly cat.
Our food interrupted Abby’s and my request for all the dirty details, but we repeated our questions as soon as the waiter was out of earshot.
“Is he proportionate, or reasonably sized?” Abby asked. “You’re not walking funny and neither of us needed to pick you up at the hospital, so I’m assuming he’s not literally hung like a horse.”
I felt my face heat up, because that had been my concern in that back alley by McHenry’s. Jordan’s cheeks were red as she informed us that Ozar was, like the porridge in the three-little-bears’ house, just right.
“So is the sex good?” I asked. “He’s taking care of your needs first? He knows where your clit actually is and how to treat it right? There’s substantial foreplay before the zipper on his pants goes down?”
Just because Eng was five-out-of-five stars didn’t mean Ozar was. Unless orcs had some special God-given talent in the bedroom—a trait I wasn’t ruling out.
“Yes, yes, yes, and yes.” Jordan sighed. “It’s not just the physical either. There’s this weird emotional connection that’s hard for me to describe. This all seems too good to be true.”
“Jordan is in love,” Abby teased in a sing-song voice.
She was, from her sappy expression. Even if she denied it vehemently, her face told a different story. Then suddenly her past reared its ugly head and Jordan was full of doubts.
“There’s no reason for you to think Ozar is anything like your past boyfriends,” I reminded her. “Judge him for who he is. Evaluate the man in front of you, not one clouded by your past experiences.”
Hypocrite. Ah well, this was a “do as I say and not as I do” kind of situation,
“Just go with it,” Abby said. “Ride the wave of awesome sex and perfect guy and just enjoy it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Especially the sex. Ride that…what did you say he called his peen? A spear or something?”
I knew what he called his dick, because Eng used the same euphemism.
Jordan grinned. “His hand-axe.”
I laughed. “Yeah, girl. Ride that hand-axe every chance you get. And if things go to shit, then drop him to the curb like garbage on Tuesday night.”
