“Do you remember Laird?”
I blinked, unable to comprehend the image I was looking at underneath all those square little icons.
“Yes?” I said. It sounded like a question. I vaguely remembered Laird. He’d been one of Dallas’s college friends. Really into rowing. Or sailing. Something with boats. He’d come to visit one summer break.
Dallas motioned for me to give the phone back. He pulled up a photo and then held it up. There were the two of them. My brother and Laird, arms around each other and grinning, their faces smashed together as the sun set behind them. Looked like some sort of vacation.
My mind was exploding, and I couldn’t make sense of my current reality.
“Laird?”
He nodded. “Laird.”
“You’re…together?”
Another nod. He set the phone down, but not before he glanced at the picture and a soft smile lit up his face. “We met up at a reunion and had a few too many drinks and that was a year and a half ago. We’re going to Norway next month and I’m going to propose.”
The world tilted on its axis and flipped upside down.
“What?”
He laughed and reached for some bread. “What, you didn’t know your brother was gay?”
“No, I didn’t!” My voice was too loud for this kind of restaurant. “No, I didn’t know. When didyou?”
Dallas had a bite of bread as he thought about it. “Well. I always knew something was different about me. That I didn’t feel the same way about girls that my friends did. The way they talked didn’t make sense to me. But I was very, very good at lying to myself about it. I mean, I literally got married. I hoped that Justine would fix me. That I’d be content. That we could work together.” His smile grew sad.
“I shouldn’t have done that to her.”
Needing something to do, I grabbed a piece of bread and started shredding it instead of eating it.
“Did she get an apology too?” I asked.
“Yes. I reached out and asked if she would meet with me. I explained everything and she was angry at first, but we’re on good terms now. We’ll never be friends, I don’t think, but we’ve moved past most of the animosity. We’re as good as we’re ever going to be.” Huh. That was something. It had been a vicious divorce from what I’d heard. Our mother had been incandescently livid. They weren’t supposed to be married for such a short time. They were supposed to have children together. Dallas had fucked with all her careful plans for him and the bride she’d handpicked.
“There’s two of us?” I asked.
He grinned. “Looks like it.”
For the first time since I saw him, I really smiled. “She’s going to lose her fucking mind.”
* * *
Once that catwas out of the bag, it was almost like we were real siblings. There were still odd pauses and interrupting each other and odd moments, but it was easier to talk to him.
“I really was a shitty brother to you. I think about that all the time. That I should have protected you more instead of being so selfish. I should have stuck around.”
I didn’t disagree with him, but in his position, I would have done the same thing. I would have saved myself first.
“Is Laird coming to the wedding?” Our mother would go nuclear.
Dallas shook his head as he gulped down his second drink. “Hell no. I’m not subjecting him to that. He offered, but I said it wasn’t the right time. He’s the best thing in my life and I don’t want her anywhere near him.” I knew what he meant.
“I’m bringing Lea. Do you remember her?”
His eyebrows went up. “Guess I’m not the only one who has a story to tell. Go on.”
At first I just meant to tell him about my plan to screw with our mother’s wedding and new husband, but I’d unlocked a vault full of words and they came tumbling out of me. This was what happened when I only talked to myself and kittens all day.
