“It was good of you to send for me, Cousin,” she said.
Her voice was almost like a purr and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.Colonel Fitzwilliam smirked at him and Darcy ignored it.
“Cousin, I must speak to you about something.”He scooted to the edge of the sofa, his elbows on his knees.
“Yes?”she said, her eyes taking on a gleam he could not be comfortable with.
Darcy sat up straighter.“I know your mother has often spoken of the two of us marrying, but I do not think you have ever wished it.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam made a squeaking noise next to him and Anne scooted further forward in her chair, nearly falling out of it in the process.“I would not say that exactly, Cousin.”
Darcy’s eyes widened comically.“You wouldn’t?”
Colonel Fitzwilliam elbowed him to continue.
“Well, regardless, you and I have never really spoken of it, and I thought it only right to inform you that I have begun a courtship with Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”
Anne sat staring at him, her posture expectant and her eyes unblinking.“Come again?”
“I have asked Miss Bennet’s permission to court her and she has given it.I will speak to her father in a week’s time.”
“Her father?”Her voice was eerily high.
“Yes,” Darcy said slowly.“After a suitable period of courtship, I will make my proposals.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam elbowed him again and Darcy looked at him in confusion.Fitzwilliam was shaking his head and clamping his lips.
“You have chosen Miss Bennet?Over me?The daughter of an insignificant country squire over the daughter of a baronet?”
Darcy continued to look confused, so Fitzwilliam shook his head and took matters into his own hands.“Anne, Darcy is pursuing Miss Bennet.He will not be proposing to you, which leaves you free to accept other proposals.Is that not good news?”
Darcy looked at him oddly.Fitzwilliam was speaking to Anne as if she were a small child, not a grown woman of five and twenty.Darcy was so preoccupied looking at Colonel Fitzwilliam that he did not realize his danger until Fitzwilliam cried out at the same time Darcy felt something sharp on his forehead.
“Good God, Anne!What are you doing?”cried the colonel.
Darcy looked about in confusion.Had she thrown something at him?He looked to the floor and saw a small porcelain vase in several pieces.Apparently, she had.He touched his head and his fingers came back wet and smeared with blood.He was turning to face her and ask what on earth she was doing when he saw something from the corner of his eye and instinctually ducked.This item was a porcelain shepherdess that grazed his shoulder.
“Look out!”cried Fitzwilliam.
Darcy ducked behind the sofa as his cousin continued throwing whatever she could get her hands on.Figurines, vases, small sculptures, even Mrs.Jenkinson’s sampler, still in its hoop, were chucked at his head.The room was utter chaos.Anne was screeching unintelligible words as she threw things at him, Mrs.Jenkinson was trying to calm her to no avail, and Darcy and the colonel were crouched on the floor behind the sofa, arms over their heads.
“What the devil?!”cried Darcy.
“I told you!She is not reasonable!”
“She is notsane!”
“That is a definite possibility.”
Mrs.Jenkinson was still trying to calm Anne and that lady was still screaming.All her words were not clear, but Darcy distinctly heard her say “give up Rosings” and “little nobody.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked about carefully.“Come,” he said to his cousin.He grabbed Darcy’s arm and walked in a crouch toward the door.Darcy wondered if this was how his cousin felt on campaign and quickly followed him.
Anne saw their progress and rushed to the mantle, taking the large vase filled with flowers and throwing it hard at the door.It crashed above their heads with a loud shatter, and they were showered with dirty water and plant detritus.Before she could lob anything more, the colonel opened the door and pushed his cousin out in front of him, closing it just in time to hear something heavy thump against the heavy oak and fall to the floor.
Darcy grimaced.Whatever it was, it sounded heavy and had not broken on impact.“That would have hurt,” he said acerbically.
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at him as if he were the stupidest man on earth and they quickly made their way down the hall.
