Realization dawned. “For the Hendersons? We didn’t even have a guest by that name. Did she make them up?”
“Fuck. Maybe. We haven’t gotten any angry calls about missed deliveries.”
I frowned. “Did she send the email about the coffee shop meeting?”
Luke tilted his head, looking confused. “What email?”
Fuck. That’s why he hadn’t seen me. He hadn’t been looking for me at all. Hadn’t even known I would be there. A weight lifted from my chest as I stared at my best friend, anger evaporating, replaced by relief.
“I think Mioko has been fucking with us.”
Luke laughed, the sound warming something cold and hard inside me. “She’s surprisingly crafty for someone who grew up in a cult. Or, you know, maybe that explains it.”
“Are you two gonna stand there jawin’ all night or get in the damn sleigh?” Walt bellowed from his perch. He looked exactly as I remembered—weathered face set in a scowl beneath a worn woolen hat, thick gray mustache twitching with impatience. “Some of us have schedules to keep!”
Luke’s eyes met mine, a shared memory passing between us. When we were twelve, Walt made us muck out stalls for an entire weekend after we’d drawn mustaches on his horses as a prank.
“We should probably...” Luke gestured toward the sleigh.
“Yeah. I’m still afraid of Walt, too,” I whispered, following him to the ornate wooden sleigh, where Walt’s massive Clydesdales stamped impatiently, their breath steaming in the cold. There wasn’t enough snow yet for a true sleigh ride, so it had big tires that looked out of place on the cute sleigh.
Luke climbed in first, settling on one side of the bench seat. I slid in beside him, leaving as much space as possible between us, which wasn’t much. The seat was smaller than I remembered, or maybe I was bigger. Either way, I could feel the heat of his thigh next to mine, and our shoulders bumped every time one of us shifted.
I didn’t mind it at all.
Walt tossed a thick wool blanket at us. “Don’t want anyone freezing to death on my watch,” he grumbled, then snapped the reins. The sleigh lurched forward, bells jingling as we glided down Sugar Street towards the lake path.
Neither of us moved to spread the blanket. It sat in a heap between us.
“So,” Luke said finally, his voice low, “this is awkward.”
“Yep.” I stared ahead, watching the horses.
“I’m sorry,” he said after another moment of silence. “About yesterday. And... everything before that.”
I turned to look at him, surprised by the raw honesty in his voice.
“I’ve missed you,” he continued, meeting my gaze. “More than I’ve let myself admit. Coming back here, seeing you... It made me realize how empty things have been without you. How much better things are with you by my side. Not in like, a romantic way.”
Mythroat tightened. “You left me behind,” I said, the words softer than I’d intended, more wounded than accusatory.
He sighed, his breath visible in the cold air. “I had to go, Eli. I had to find out who I was outside of Maple Crossing, outside of this.” He gestured between us. “My family was still recovering financially, and I had a scholarship I couldn’t turn down.”
“I know. But it felt like you were running away from more than just a small town.”
“I was.” Luke’s honesty surprised me. “When I told you how I felt, I was sure you felt the same way. And when you turned me down, it hit hard.”
“Luke…”
“No, you don’t have to say anything. I know you’re not built like me, not bi. And it doesn’t matter now, because I miss you. I miss what we were too much to care about what I wanted us to be.” His gaze dropped to his gloved hands. “When we fought that last night...”
“We said things we didn’t mean,” I finished for him.
“Speak for yourself,” he said with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I meant every word about your stubborn ass being too rooted for your own good.”
Despite myself, I laughed. “And I meant every word about you being an ambitious bastard who’d sell his soul for a corporate job and a corner office.”
His smile softened, became more real. “I don’t want to feel that separation again, Eli. Being back here with you, even when you’re pissed at me, makes me realize that nothing has ever filled that void you left behind. No one knows me like you do. I don’t belong anywhere but where you need me to be.”
