“You want to be my mom?” Margot’s voice was so small and timid. “For real?”
“For real.”
“But what if you change your mind?” Margot asked. “What if you decide I’m too much trouble or … too loud … or in the way.”
“Never.” Lila cupped her face. “You could never be any of those things. I want to be here. For every dance recital. Every school event. Every ordinary Tuesday afternoon. I want all of it. With you and Mia and your Papa. That’s my choice.”
Margot threw her arms around Lila’s neck. “I’ll be good. I won’t get in the way.”
Lila drew back slightly to look Margot in the eyes. “Listen to me, baby girl. Very carefully. You are to take up space in this world. You will be as loud as you want to be. Demand attention. Show everyone how spectacular you are. My daughters don’t sit in the back of the bus or make themselves small. Do you hear me? Do you understand?”
Margot shook her head. “Not really.”
“You will,” Mia said, smiling. “After a few more months with my mom, you’ll get it.Ourmom, that is. She doesn’t want you to apologize for your existence. She wants you to be yourself. Whoever that is.”
“I’ll try,” Margot said, glancing over at me. In the soft afternoon light, I could see salt crystals in her eyelashes. Still needing the approval she hadn’t had for all the years Nicole had kept her from me.
“That’s all I ask,” Lila said, kissing the top of Margot’s sandy head. “Often, girls are taught to be quiet and nice—to acquiesce to everyone around them. But not in this house. I want you to be bold and brave, but also kind. Especially to yourself.”
“Okay,” Margot said.
“All right then. I need to send an email. Make it official. Why don’t you girls go clean up. Then we’ll decide what to make for dinner.”
Margot jumped off Lila’s lap and threw herself around my legs, dampening my jeans. Mia wrapped her arms around both of us. “Margot sandwich,” Mia said.
Margot giggled, then the two of them ran inside, still wet from their battle with the hose.
Inside, Lila opened her laptop. I stood behind her, my hand on the back of the chair as she typed.
Dear Ethan,
After careful consideration, I’ve decided to decline the network’s offer. While I’m grateful for the opportunity, I’ve realized that what I want most is to focus on my family and my local design work. Please convey my thanks to the network for their faith in me, and let them know I’m willing to sign whatever NDA or agreement they need regarding the events of this summer.
Thank you for everything,Lila
She hovered the cursor over “Send” for just a second.
“You sure?” I asked softly.
“Yep.”
She clicked.
The email whooshed away.
Then Lila let out a breath that sounded like she’d been holding it for weeks. “It’s done. I’m free.”
I put my hands on her shoulders. “Let’s celebrate tonight. All of us. Tidewater Grill.”
She looked up at me, smiling. “If you insist. I’m starving.”
21
LILA
On the last Saturday morning in August, sunlight filtered through the kitchen windows as I sat at the island watching Vance make our coffee. I stretched, smiling to myself, thinking about the day ahead. We were going to the beach for one last hurrah before school started. I’d turned down the job three days ago, and, every morning since, I’d woken up with the same feeling: peace.
Vance poured coffee into the mug Mia had painted in third grade for my Christmas present.I Love Mom.The bagels from the bakery sat on a plate, still warm, filling the kitchen with the smell of salt and caraway seeds.
