By the time we got back to the cottage, the sun was setting. The house was quiet—the girls still at the beach with Esme. The moment we were inside, I kicked off my shoes and padded into the kitchen, suddenly exhausted down to my bones.
Vance locked the door behind us. “I didn’t see any photographers, but let’s pull the shades anyway.”
“Like a couple of moles,” I said. “I’m hungry. I’ve got a lasagna in the freezer. Should I stick that in?”
“Definitely. We both need to eat. It takes a lot of energy to fight evil,” Vance said, a teasing lilt to his voice.
I put the lasagna in the oven while Vance opened a bottle of wine.
“Come sit.” He took my hand, leading me to the couch. “Tell me how you’re doing. This has been a hell of a day.”
“I’m tired. Like, down to my bones.”
“Who wouldn’t be?”
We sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the hum of the oven.
“The best part of this whole thing has been designing your house,” I said finally. “Thinking of all the ways I could make it perfect for you. I miss doing my real job. The work I actually love.”
Vance shifted, giving me his full attention.
“I haven’t slept through the night in weeks. When I started this show, it felt like a dream come true. A chance to finally get ahead. My designs on national television. A chance to really build something. For Mia. For myself.” I rubbed my forehead. “But I don’t know if I can keep doing this. The cameras. The scrutiny. They’ve made me look like a lunatic.”
“What are you thinking?” Vance asked carefully.
“I don’t know.” I looked at him, tears threatening. “Part of me wants to walk away from all of it. Just go back to my quiet life. My studio. My friends. But what if that’s just fear talking? What if I’m giving up too easily?”
“You’re not giving up. You’re surviving.”
“Am I?” I pressed my hands to my face. “Or am I just scared? Scared I’m not good enough for that world. Scared I’ll fail if I keep trying.”
“You shouldn’t be scared of anything,” Vance said. “But I understand.”
“I keep thinking about Mia. How much I’ve been gone. How tired I am all the time. How this is supposed to be exciting but it just feels … awful.” I looked up at him. “But then I think—what if I quit and regret it? What if this was my one shot and I blew it because I couldn’t handle the pressure?”
Vance pulled me against his chest. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight. You’re exhausted. You just found out your whole career was sabotaged. Give yourself time to process.”
“What if they fire me? What if this is over anyway?”
“Then we deal with it. Together.”
I curled into his side, breathing in his scent—cedar and wine and safety. “I just want my life back. The one where I’m not constantly terrified.”
“You’ll get there,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “Whatever happens next, we’ll figure it out.”
I closed my eyes, letting exhaustion wash over me. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn’t have to decide anything tonight. Maybe I could just … rest.
For now, that was enough.
20
VANCE
Lila and I sat together on the couch in Ethan’s office. He’d called us in, promising big news. I glanced at Lila. She appeared calm and put together, as usual. But I suspected that she was holding it together for the girls and maybe even me, when really she was a bundle of nerves.
“Okay, I have great news,” Ethan said. “The production company knows everything. The video and everything else.”
Lila stiffened. I slid my hand into hers.
