Can we get back to the topic of our wives before Dean traumatizes us all further?
Dev Menon
I’m speaking for everyone when I say, yes. Piper didn’t say much, but our liquor cabinet was a lot sparser this morning. She said there was “extensive discussion” about Patton.
Patton Pierce
Wait, what? Sorry, just landed in Boston. Trying to catch up on messages. What do you mean, there was a discussion about me?
Dean Meyer
Welcome to the Schlongs, Hollywood! The two things you need to know to get situated: 1.) We discuss everyone’s business here, especially Hudson’s, because he’s old as fuck. 2.) Conversations about anal will trigger Darian. He is very much a “missionary, let’s-make-love” kind of guy.
Darian Meyer
I’m not a—you know what? Never mind. I don’t know why I even bother.
Patton Pierce
I’ve been in this chat for all of 30 seconds, and I’m already regretting it.
Hudson Case
Aside from Dean, we all are. Why are you in Boston this morning? Visiting your old stomping grounds or for the foster gala?
Patton Pierce
Yeah. The FosterBridges Foundation Gala. How did you know about that?
Dean Meyer
Christ, Hudson. Do you get a push notification every time he takes a piss? I’m honestly a little concerned on your behalf, @Patton Pierce.
Dev Menon
That’s rich coming from the man who wears pajamas with Troy’s face on the crotch.
Dean Meyer
For the last time, IT’S NOT ON THE CROTCH! (Not for lack of trying, though. Mala was dead set against that design option for some reason).
Troy Winters
Thank God for Mala. I owe the woman a fruit basket.
Hudson Case
@Patton Pierce, saw an interview with you asking for donations to the program since you grew up in the foster system. I may have made a small contribution and gotten the same invite to the gala. Couldn’t attend, though.
Patton Pierce
Thanks for the donation, man. That means a lot.
Dean Meyer
Damn, Hollywood. My respect for you grows by the day. Cool of you to use your platform for something so meaningful.
Troy Winters
