Please, no one ask what the hell he was watching instead.
Dev Menon
No one needs to. Pretty sure Dean has slow-motion footage of you stretching before games.
Troy Winters
Christ. I’m so glad I officially retired.
Dean Meyer
@Patton Pierce? @Patton Pierce? Hello!? @Patton Pierce??
Dev Menon
What the hell are you doing, dumbass?
Dean Meyer
What? I’m trying to tag him so he sees these messages.
Hudson Case
[GIF of Jeff Bridges from The Big Lebowski running his hand down his face]
Troy Winters
What do you think missed calls and direct messages do, Dean?
Garrett Meyer
Bro, tagging him on a text thread isn’t going to summon him. He’s not fucking Beetlejuice.
Dean Meyer
That’s true. Because saying Beetlejuice three times would mean he’d ACTUALLY show up.
Darian Meyer
Just wait until Patton comes back and reads this thread.
Dean Meyer
Shit. How do I delete that previous message?? Patton, brother, homie . . . you know I’m just messing around. I say stupid shit all the time.
Hudson Case
Finally, something we can all agree on.
Troy Winters
Not sure you have to worry, Dean. If I know my sister-in-law, Patton might not live to see another day, even if he DOES come back. When we spoke earlier, Sarina said Nisha looked homicidal.
Garrett Meyer
I don’t blame her. Shit, @Patton Pierce, get your ass to the hospital. I don’t want to have to write your eulogy with “he had his whole life ahead of him”.
Hudson Case
