“What have I told you about the wolves lying?” My heart pounds at the look he gives me.
I believe him. “What happened to the humans from the Folkland then?”
He leans into my face. “They walk out of here and the alphas take them, I assume. The goddesses say they are gone, and they grow annoyed. I expect they plan to make sure the next human will not die at the alpha’s hand.” Me. He means me. “Love, tell me what happens to the most powerful being in the world when they leave this place as a champion?” The most powerful? A human being more powerful than a wolf? It wouldn’t happen, and they wouldn’t be alive long. They would be a threat to the wolves, and maybe humans wouldn’t just be slaves and controlled if they had someone fighting, who actually stood a chance against a shifter. A human with power could change our world.
“The alphas of the packs want me killed in here. They told every wolf to make sure they killed me, and their families werethreatened.” His shoulders are so tight that he snaps his teeth together. “Why would they want me dead in here if they just plan to kill me when I get out?”
“Maybe you’re more dangerous than even you realize. Even they realize. They’re fools to think that you can be killed in here. It takes more than a dagger to kill oblivion-touched, more than drowning, more than burning or what any element can conjure. The only way the oblivion-touched can die is—” He pauses so fast, like he can’t speak it. I clutch my fingers around the book. Midnight air brushes across my senses, and I lean closer to him. My monster has all the answers, and I have a thousand questions, but I know that we’re running out of time. I can almost feel myself waking up. “The Maiden test is tomorrow, and it is the most dangerous. You need to be ready.”
“What will happen in it?” I quickly ask, my body fading like smoke.
“I cannot tell you.” His voice is laced with sadness. “One more trial and you are one step closer to our freedom. We will never be parted again. Remember, call for me and tell the world that you are mine. It is the only way I can protect you.” His lips press onto my forehead. “Unleash me, love, and I’ll destroy the world for you.”
I wake up slowly, morning light drifting in through the curtain, but I still feel him. My monster, his hands on me, his teeth in my neck, and the pleasure his bite caused. I close my eyes, hoping to go back to him, and sigh when I realize it’s not going to happen. Elizabeth’s light snores fill the silence instead, and I snuggle in the sheets, frowning when I feel a lump under my pillow. I lift my head, surprised to see the book from my dream with my monster. He’s been here, not just in my dreams, and it smells like him. I push the book back under my pillow as Tannith wraps her tail around my arm and rests her head on my hand. I run my hand over her back.
“I know we’re close friends,” she says, “but stroking each other is weird. I’m not into women, and you have male wolf problems, and you’re not even fucking them yet. By the way, you smell weird…like darkness.”
I have monster problems too, and I know it’s the reason I smell like darkness. Like midnight. I cried myself to sleep after hearing what Reed said, after the dismissal of anything between us. I cried mostly because I knew it. I knew I could never be anything to him, and I still convinced myself we could be. He is an heir, and he will go home when this is over. I will probably never see him again and it might be for the best.Liar. Liar. Liar.“Good morning to you too. How are you feeling?”
“Miserable. Being a drake sucks.” She huffs, and smoke wisps out of her mouth.
“Well, at least it’ll be something fun for us to reminisce about when we’re old and grey and, you know, sitting in our rocking chairs outside a house,” I joke. Kind of. I’m not sure this will ever be anything but a fucked-up trauma bond.
“You in your priestess gown of virginity and sadness. Me in all leather and holding a whip I designed with all my gold. The whip will be gold too.” She laughs. “Your plan was terrible, and you know I’m always right.”
Why would she be in leather and hold a whip when she is old? I have questions about her retirement plan. “No, it wasn’t.”
“It was a terrible plan. Priestesses are sexually deprived, sick bitches. You definitely didn’t want to become one of them. You just wanted the safety, and the gold they offered. It would have been a bad idea. You need passion and love. You have a big heart, and it’s too much to be contained in that sort of life.” She looks up at me with her big eyes.
I shake my head stubbornly, even though she’s definitely correct. My future that I planned out would have led me to, yes, some bit of safety, but would I have ever really been safe? No.Would I have been fulfilled in my life? No. Now I don’t know what I want anymore. I don’t think I have a choice anymore. I’ve learnt that having feelings hurts when the man you like calls you “just some fun.” I’ve also learnt my monster can make me come in a second by biting me. He didn’t even kiss me, and it was mind-blowing.
“You know,” she starts, getting my attention back, “when I first met you, you didn’t cry. Yeah, you stood there all sad and shit, but you’d been beaten by those pricks, you had no memories or clothing other than what was on your back, and you didn’t cry. The matron screamed in your face because you spilled a drink, and you still didn’t cry. They fed you mouldy yogurt for a week for not listening, and still no tears. Everyone cried at the orphanage except for you. I wanted to be like you. I sat there watching this pretty girl with gold hair, who was just so badass, like no one else I’d ever been around. I offered you a friendship, and we teamed up against the bullies, but I never told you thatyousaved me too. Until that point, I didn’t want anyone close to me because if I didn’t let people in, I didn’t have anyone to lose. I’d lost too much, and I never wanted to feel that grief ever again.” She looks me in the eye, searching for something. “Some grief can swallow you up and drown you, and you can’t escape it unless there is a light. I was searching for that light, and you barrelled into my life like a beacon. I let you in, even though I was giving you the knowledge of where to stab me to destroy me. You didn’t. You could have.”
“I can tell you point blank that getting stabbed in the chest hurts. Bad. You don’t need to be friends with me to know that,” I deadpan. I rub my chest, still feeling that dagger like a ghost.
She giggles and hisses at the same time. “Your dark humour isn’t always funny when you’re joking about nearly dying.” She is lying; I’m always funny. “But I’m being serious, Mere. My parents, they both worked in the mines, and part of the minecollapsed, and they died. One minute they were there, and the next—gone.”
I pause, my smile dropping. Tannith has never told me this, and I’ve asked about her past, but she said it was too hard to speak about it.
“I found myself thrown out onto the street by the landlord the next morning, and anyone who knew me just looked the other way. All these people I had grown up with, who my parents helped and loved, justleftme. I was six years old when they dragged me to the orphanage, and from that point onwards, I had to learn how to fight for myself. I cried every single day, and I didn’t stop crying until you arrived. I started to try to be like you instead. Brave, fearless and stupidly pretty even though you don’t realize it.”
“I admire you too.” I stroke her head with my finger. Stupidly pretty? She must be having a mental breakdown. It’s cool, we all have them, and if you’re special like me, you have them regularly. The cure is cake, and I’m deprived. “Thank you for telling me about your parents, and I’m sorry you lost them…but you are enough just as you are, Tannith. You actually let people in, and I can’t do that with anyone but you. How do youdothat? You make friends with just a charming smile, and you’ve got so many friends back in the human district. When the Crone alpha went looking into my life for people to use against me, I only had you, and that’s because I don’t let people in. If we had swapped places, they could have dragged in a small army of people to use against you. You’ve had relationships, dozens of them. You let people get close to the real you.How?”
“Because of you, dummy.” She laughs. I frown in confusion.Me?“I let you in, and you didn’t stab me in the back. You didn’t find a way to hurt me, and you always stayed my friend. You were always my friend, my sister, my family or whatever I needed. When you’ve got family, you can do anything. I mighthave made loads of friends in the human district, but you were family, and how safe you made me feel was the reason I could.” She looks at me in a way I don’t understand exactly. “You’re letting people in now, bestie, like the wolves in this cabin, and I think it’s a good thing for you. I’m happy you’re trying and keep trying. Don’t you dare give up on yourself.”
She’s crazy, but my heart warms. “We’re gonna get out of here, you know, and turn you back into a human. I will do anything to make sure you survive this and have the life you wanted. Even with the whip and leather.” I scrunch my nose. “I was going to ask about that, but I’ve changed my mind.”
We both laugh and drift into a comfortable silence before she confesses, “I miss our apartment. Even that rusty pipe that creaks seven times every night, right above our beds.”
“I miss the dripping faucet in the sink. It has been kind of strange not to go to sleep with that tap, tap, tap,” I agree with her. The apartment wasn’t much, but it was ours. She yawns before drifting back off to sleep, and I lie in the sheets for a long moment, listening to the silence of the forest and cabin. When I’m sure Elizabeth won’t wake and tell me off, I lift the book out from under my pillow.
I go through it, finding the page that I left off on. I blink, surprised to see drawings at the bottom of the page. My monster. He’s drawn himself. His wings spread out far and wide behind him, muscles toned on his chest all the way down…down. A squeak echoes from me as I realize he’s drawn himself naked. He’s going to destroy me. It looks even bigger than Reed’s, and I’m concerned for all womankind if they have fit those inside them. I’m staying a virgin forever.
“You okay?” Elizabeth asks, interrupting my breakdown over the size of the cock drawing my monster drew me.
“Yeah, just had a weird dream.” I make sure she can’t see the book in the sheets and clear my throat. My hand goes to myneck, feeling nothing but smooth skin. Was it real? I touch the other side of my neck, just in case, but all I feel is the burn mark from the Crone alpha, and my mood sours. “How did you sleep?”
Elizabeth talks about her dreams of pumpkins, which is apparently her favourite food. I wouldn’t know; I’ve never tried it. She misses it from home, and she tries to explain what pumpkin tastes like while I sneak the book back under my pillow. Elizabeth was right; reading this book is dangerous for not just this cabin of testosterone-filled males but for all of womankind. Eventually Elizabeth goes into the shower, and I walk to the window and slide onto the cushion seat, admiring the endless forest, the brilliant orange light of the sunrise.
