She started a little but was not surprised to find him watching her. It was what he did. “Never more so. You?”
“More than I have the words to express. I fear I will awaken at any moment to discover this but a dream.”
“If it is, then it is an uncommonly authentic one.”
“As are all my dreams of you.”
He held her gaze, unabashed, and though she felt herself colour, she delighted in his characteristic frankness. Having once accused him of speaking only to amaze the whole room, she better understood now that he spoke only when he could do so with conviction. If the whole room took it upon itself to be amazed, that was up to them. She chose not to be.
“If my actions so far today have not convinced you I am real, I am afraid you will have to wait until we are wed to apply for furtherproof.” She smiled at his evident surprise, though with so much regret weighing upon her, she soon sobered. “I hope your dreams of me were not all nightmares. I have treated you very ill.”
“There is nothing to reproach in your behaviour to me.”
“We both know that is untrue!”
“I do not.”
“Nay, you cannot deny I have been hateful. Certainly,Icannot forgive myself for the things of which I have accused you or the way I have spoken to and about you. In fact, I cannot fathom how you came to love me at all.”
“Fortunately for you, your obstinacy is one of many reasons.” The smile with which he said this faded, and in a more strained voice, he added, “I think it more reasonable that I should wonder how you have come to love me.”
Remorse twisted her stomach, for despite his demurrals, here was proof of how deeply she had wounded him. “I have come to comprehend you better, and there is very little I have discovered that has not brought me to loving you.” His brow furrowed endearingly, but he spoke not, and she determined to erase his every doubt. “Your letter did much to improve my opinion.”
He groaned. “You cannot know how I regret ever having presented you with material proof of my resentfulness.”
“I may not have liked it very well at first,” Elizabeth admitted with a smile. “But I have since come to treasure it. It has been a source of great comfort to me.”
“For that alone, I am glad to have written it, but you may burn the wretched thing now. I intend to provide all the comfort you require henceforth.”
Elizabeth was rather diverted by the fluttering this produced in her stomach. “Then there was Mr Bingley’s return.” He looked a little abashed, which was proof enough for her of his part in it. “It was more comfort than you can know to see Jane’s heart mended. They are engaged, did you know?”
“I did not. That is happy news indeed.”
She squeezed his arm. “Thank you.”
“Pray, of all things, do notthankme! They would be wed by now if not for my interference.”
“Nevertheless, I do thank you. It must have taken great courage to speak to him.”
“Not as much courage as it took to hear what he said in response.”
“I can imagine.”
“You mistake my meaning. Bingley was not angry. It was his observations of my behaviour to you that were most painful to hear.”
“Well, then I must thank him, for now, you and I may quarrel about whose behaviour was worse, and that will give you a fine opportunity to admire my obstinacy.”
He stopped walking and turned her to face him, his eyes so focused that she could see flecks of gold glinting in his brown irises. “I cannot laugh about it. Knowing I have pained you has been unbearable.”
Before she could think how to reply, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her shoulders and head as he whispered a heartfelt apology. With her ear to his broad, solid chest, she heard his heart beating, powerfully and much too fast.
“I forgave you all your mistakes long ago, Fitzwilliam. Pray, I would hear you say that you have forgiven me mine.”
He tightened his hold on her. “Every one.” She did not expect him to continue and was surprised when he added, “Even your decimation of Mozart’s Eleventh Sona?—”
She poked him in the ribs before he could finish, laughter bursting from her lips. “Teasing man! Will you always know so easily when I need a laugh?”
“I hope so.” He took her hand and placed it on his arm. When they had walked a short distance, he said, “It is to be ‘Fitzwilliam’ is it?”
