“Yes, I can see that. What can I say? I write in the most careless way imaginable. I am awfully sorry.”
She looked awfully angry.
“But consider all I am offering you—the promise of a better life, an income, a home of your own, schooling for your child. And your reputation! Here, you will never be more than a fallen housemaid.There, you could begin again and be a respectable woman with whatever history you chose.”
She stared at him sullenly. “You’re quite one for forsakin’ people, ain’t you.”
“With all due respect, madam, you cannot claim any peculiar attachment to me. We are hardly good friends.”
Without dropping his gaze, she parted her travelling cloak, revealing far more clearly her distended stomach, over which she rubbed a hand. “I weren’t talkin’ about me.”
He looked back at her, wondering what more she wanted from him. “Have I not said I shall fully support the child?”
Her mouth set in a hard line, and she wrapped her cloak back around herself, crossing her arms over the join. When she had remained silent for above two minutes, he enquired whether she would still agree to go, not quite managing to keep the impatience from his voice.
“Will you still pay me?” she shot back.
“Of course. All the arrangements still stand, only I shall not be part of them.”
She turned aside and shrugged, which with her arms crossed over her stomach as they were, made her shoulders almost touch her ears. “S’pose so.”
“Thank you.”
“What will you do?” she enquired sullenly.
“Go home to my wife.”
Though he could not imagine, after all the ways in which he had abused her, that Jane could possibly still love him, it was, as Elizabeth had said, time for him to be a proper husband. What Darcy had said at Pemberley was true also. He had loved Jane once. Perhaps, in time, he might earn back her esteem. He meant to try for her sake and Elizabeth’s.
“Shame she won’t be there,” Amelia scoffed, ruining all his gallant schemes in one breath. “She’s on ’er way to Pemberley.”
“Good God, why?”
She shrugged again. “To stop you going to Nova Scotia, probably.”
“What the deuce made her think I am going to Nova Scotia?”
“That letter,” she replied, nodding at the offending article.
Bingley did his utmost to speak calmly, though he felt anything but calm. “How did she come to see that letter?”
“I showed it to ’er when she called on me. Came to see I was being provided for. Least that’s what she said.”
He pressed a fist to his mouth and swore against it. Jane knew!His shame was now complete. All this time he had justified his behaviour towards Jane by telling himself she had grown into a woman he could not love, but she was not changed at all! What other personalivewould discover her husband’s infidelity and think only to the wellbeing of those involved? She remained just as good-hearted as she had ever been!
The remainder of his discussions with Amelia were conducted with no less awkwardness than was to be expected in the circumstances, yet all in all, matters were concluded with infelicitous haste. In less time than they had taken embroiling themselves in the situation to begin with, they agreed to terms and parted ways.
“Make arrangements to travel at first light,” Bingley informed his man upon reaching his rooms. “I must return to Pemberley.”
“Is there something there you have forgotten, sir?”
Yes, he thought.The only person left in the world who might yet love me.
Monday 15 March 1813, Derbyshire
Impatience had become less of an imperfection and more of an affliction for Elizabeth. Husbands, babies, news—all were presently exhibiting a most vexing disdain for celerity. Regardless of the grey clouds on the horizon, she was determined to walk out that morning before she went distracted from inaction.
“This letter has just arrived, Mrs Darcy,” said Maltravers as she came into the hall. She took the letter but waved away his offer of an extra shawl.
