The stateliness that I once derided as aloofness is better described as a deliberate self-containment that allows proper consideration and good sense to reign over imprudence. The pride I disdained so violently does not arise from a desire to be revered, but rather a sincere regard for everything and everyone connected to his family and estate. I could go on—I could tell you of all the care he took to demonstrate that he did not resent the past, and all the ways he tried to show he still loved me, after so many months and such a hurtful rejection—but suffice to say that I was as wrong as it is possible for one person to be about another. I needed only to see him properly; after that, I would have struggled not to love him.
If you are still not convinced, then perhaps knowing that he has bought Peacock a new commission and settled an extra thousand pounds on Lydia to help mitigate the very worst of their marital woes will improve your opinion of him. This he conspired to do with my uncle Gardiner in secret, lest I mistake his intentions and be made uneasy. Only once we were engaged did he admit his involvement. Now tell me you do not think him the very best of men.
My father has given us his consent. You will not be surprised to discover that he made the process as tiresome as possible for his own amusement. Several untimely recollections of my past sentiments and an unhelpful insinuation as to Mr Darcy’s amiability seemed to gratify him almost as much as the knowledge that my future felicity was secured, but at least he saved his sport for me and did not trouble Mr Darcy with it. My mother was far more restrained if you can believe it. She was too shocked to say anything to me when I first told her, and she is too much in awe of her new son to speak to him. I live in constant dread of the shock wearing off and her finding her voice again.
Jane is delighted for me, but I perceive a growing melancholy in her. Mr Bingley has been all but forgotten by everyone else, but she still admires him, and my engagement has rather emphasised his more dilatory approach. I have tried to assure her it is only that Mr Darcy and I benefited from our time together in Derbyshire, but in truth, I cannot fathom Mr Bingley’s purpose in coming to Longbourn so often if it is not to advance his cause. I hope he makes his mind up soon. Until he does, I am attempting to contain my joy, for it would be cruel to boast of it when Jane’s is undecided. But since my joy is likely visible from the moon, it is difficult to conceal, and I hope you will not mind that I have boasted of it so shamelessly in this letter.
It goes without saying that I cannot accept your invitation to visit. I hope, however, that you and Mr Wallis will come to visit us at Pemberley as soon as it can be arranged—though not before you have decided that you approve of Mr Darcy. I cannot permit you to make him suffer any more than I have already.
On the subject of Pemberley, I have need of your counsel. Mr Darcy finds himself in want of a new housekeeper and wishes for me, as the new mistress, to appoint one. I know not where to begin! My grandmother appointed Mrs Hill before my father was married; thus, my mother has no advice on the subject—perhaps a blessing in disguise. I asked Hill directly; she said I should choose someone with good eyes and a strong back, but where I ought to find such a redoubtable specimen, she did not venture to say. I have written to both my aunt Gardiner and Charlotte for their suggestions, and now I beg the same of you. Any information you can provide, from what sort of woman I ought to employ to where I ought to find her would be most gratefully received. My dearest wishes to you and Mr Wallis.
Yours, in the most sublime contentment of spirits,
Dot
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
BRAVE FACES
Elizabeth turned at the sound of hooves and experienced a flutter of excitement to see Darcy approaching along the lane. She could not quite get used to the feeling, but at the same time rather hoped she never would, for it would be a sad day that she was not gladdened by the sight of her husband. It made her happier still to see her own pleasure mirrored in his countenance as he dismounted and walked his horse towards her.
“I was on my way to Longbourn to see you.”
“Then this is an even more fortunate meeting. I should have been sorry to miss you.”
“I would have waited for you.”
He was looking at her in a way that made her acutely aware of his closeness and their seclusion. They had seen each other every day since he proposed, but never alone. There had been no opportunity, therefore, to repeat the wonderful intimacy they had enjoyed last Saturday, though that had not prevented Elizabeth reflecting on it, and not less than incessantly. Ending up in his arms had felt more than natural; it had felt necessary. She abruptly found herself wishing, somewhat wildly, that he would kiss her again.
He did not disappoint her. His attentions were less urgent than on Saturday, when he had kissed her with all the passion of a man who had been too long without hope. This caress was so tender as to be reverential, and yet somehow more rousing for it. She felt quite literally giddy from the sensations raging through her and the reckless pace at which her heart was beating. She kept her eyes closed for a moment or two afterwards, but when she did open them, Darcy was staring at her exactly as he had used to in the early days of their acquaintance. She smiled brightly to comprehend at last what had occupied his thoughts in those moments.
“I have missed you,” he said, his voice gruff.
“You saw me last night.”
He nodded and offered her his arm. With his horse walking obediently on his other side, they set out together for Longbourn.
“Have you been anywhere interesting?” he enquired.
“Not particularly. I accompanied Kitty to Lucas Lodge to see Maria Lucas. And before that, we were in Meryton, where I posted a letter to my aunt Wallis. I have told her our news.”
“Is this the same aunt you said would not approve of me?”
Elizabeth winced contritely. “It is, but you must not blame her. I promise, she will love you almost as dearly as I do once she reads the four sides I have written in your praise.”
“Do not distress yourself. If it pleases you that she should like me, then I shall make every effort to be agreeable to her, but otherwise, I care for no one’s opinion but yours.”
As though offended that his opinion should not be held in equal esteem, Darcy’s horse abruptly ceased walking and shook its head restlessly. It was a huge beast and looked liable to rear out of control at any moment, yet Darcy seemed wholly unperturbed and only clicked his tongue and urged it to walk on. Elizabeth let go of her held breath and did the same.
“Are you frightened of horses?” he asked her. “I can ride on and come back for you on foot if you would prefer.”
“No—he is just a particularly large horse.”
“I suppose he is, but I should look ridiculous riding a pony.”
She laughed at the unexpectedness of Darcy’s joke as much as the idea of his long legs trailing on the ground behind his mount. “I have a talent of making myself look ridiculous on most horses. It is why I prefer to walk. Jane is the natural horsewoman in the family.”
“Is that why she chose to ride to Netherfield the day she fell ill?”
