“I—” Oh gosh, how do I say this? How do Idothis? “I got out of a toxic situation last year, and I haven’t dated since. We’d been together for years, so I don’t really know how to do… this.” The heat from his kisses is replaced with the heat of embarrassment, but it’s temporary.
With a deep inhale, he runs his hand soothingly up and down my back, straightening to meet my eyes. “If this is all I ever get of you, Alice, to know what your hair feels like in my hands, to taste your tongue, and know how your body feels against mine, then it’s enough. It’s more than enough.”
“I want more.” I swallow quickly, so annoyed with myself for saying that without thinking. “I—I mean, I will want more. But not right now. Not tonight.” His patient eyes and his gentle touch coax me to continue. “I’m tired of being scared of anything good.”
“Okay. Keep telling me when it’s not enough and when it’s too much. Do you think you can do that?” As he traces my jaw with his fingertips and our bodies become flush with one another, I’m once again drawn into his warmth.
“I will,” I promise.
“Can I kiss you again, Alice?” His question, the way he says my name, it might all be my undoing because even though I told him not tonight, I’m tempted to drag him into my room and throw even more caution to the wind.
The only answer I can give is to pull him down to me and kiss him until we both run out of breath again. Andwhen that happens, he wraps me in a hug, burying his face in my neck and holding me tightly for a few seconds.
“Goodnight, tesouro,” he whispers into my skin, stepping back with a sigh and a smile I’ve never seen on his gorgeous face before. A smile I know is all mine, only for me, and because of me. I want to see that smile every day and be the reason for it always.
I want the impossible.
The followingmorning is a little bit rushed as we make a stop at a hobby farm to see a sweet old mare who can no longer keep up with her young owner, and I walk away thrilled with the prospect of another therapy horse being added to the roster.
Before heading back to Ojai, we confirm Winston and Goaton Ramsay will be going to the ranch, and then it’s Arthur and me alone in his truck.
“You feeling good about the last few days?” He seems to catch himself and the double meaning of the question, and adds, “In regard to the horses, I mean.” His lopsided smirk makes me smile.
“I think the horses are going to be amazing.” Chancing a look at him, I note the tension in his jaw and reach for his hand resting on his lap. “And I feel really good about everything else, too.” I might not understand why Arthur second-guesses himself so much yet, but I hope he can open up to me about it one day. I hope I can open up about things I haven’t told him, too.
When we get backto the farmhouse, Paige is waiting with an excited Luther on the front porch. She holds on to his leash, knowing about my hesitance with dogs, but Luther hardly even pulls at it. He doesn’t bark, either. It’s incredible.
As we approach, Arthur gives him a quiet command along with a hand signal, which he follows. Once they’re done with their hellos, Luther sits again, facing me this time. And he waits with ears perked up and hopeful eyes.
“Hi, buddy,” I say to him quietly. Arthur’s grip tightens on the leash, and I’m thankful for the precaution, but I want him to know I’m okay, so I get on my knees in front of Luther and scratch his ears. He leans into me, and if Paige’s gasp is any indication, what I do next is surprising to more than just myself. I hug him. And the sweet dog rests his head on my shoulder, sniffing loudly before turning his face to lick mine. I giggle, letting him kiss my cheek.
“All right, Luther, that’s enough,” Arthur calls out gently.
“Jealous, boss? Your dog gets more action than you do.” Paige cackles at her own joke, and I laugh with her, watching Arthur’s cheeks blush as his heated eyes meet mine. “I guess that trainer is really paying off.” I don’t understand what she means but there’s no time to think about what she’s saying because in typical Paige style, she continues on. “Anyway, I’ll let you three be a happy family. Thanks for letting Lu stay with me.” She gives us a salute and takes off to her car, peeling away down the driveway as Arthur shakes his head.
“That girl is a firecracker,” I say, getting to my feet. “And you, boss, are you jealous of your dog?”
He turns slowly, that gaze still burning through me. “No.” When he steps into my space, he drops the leash andwraps both hands around my waist, pulling me flush against him right before his lips crash into mine. My arms instantly wrap around his neck as I stand on my tiptoes, a low moan slipping out of me as he deepens our kiss.
“See, when Luther kisses you, you giggle and push him away when he doesn’t stop.” He kisses me again, his tongue instantly finding mine, coaxing another needy sound out of me. “And when I kiss you, you make these sweet little sounds and press your body closer to mine.” His lips lower to my neck, and I lean back to give him more access. “You push your fingers into my hair and hold me to you like you want more.”
“I do.” I moan again when his tongue swirls on my skin.
“So, no, tesouro, I’m not jealous. Not unless you plan on letting anyone else kiss you like this.” He kisses my lips once more, so softly, it’s barely there, but with vulnerability embedded in it.
“I don’t. No one’s ever kissed me like you do,” I admit truthfully. I’ve been kissed before, but it’s never felt like this. Like the other person couldn’t bear to be without me. Like I couldn’t bear to be without them. Never. “And what are your plans, Arthur?” I hope he understands my need to know he won’t be letting anyone else kiss him either.
With his eyes locked on mine, he gives me the answer I crave. “Yours are the only lips I want, goldie.” And I know it’s the truth, because I know liars, and Arthur has never lied to me. He might not trust me with everything yet, but he doesn’t lie.
I reach up to kiss him again, but before I can, Luther shoves his face between our legs and whines, clearly not enjoying the lack of attention, and perhaps picking up on the new dynamic we’re about to test out.
And while we laugh at this sweet dog wedging himself between us, all I can do is hope I don’t mess it all up.
After unpackingmy things and a quick shower, I left to go see Gran. One of the nurses said she was having a good day when I checked in earlier, so despite being tired, I decided to attempt a visit.
I knock on the door gently. “Gran?”
At the sound of my voice, she turns away from where she has a puzzle laid out on the table. “Alice,” she sneers, and a chill runs down my spine at the familiar tone. “What are you doing here? Isn’t the point of putting me in this place so you never have to see me again? I hate it here, you know? I wish you’d left and never come back. I could still be living in my own house, not in this hellhole.” She scoffs, turning back to her puzzle.
