“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You often berated me for it, but I lived a life of frivolity and carelessness. I was so consumed by my need to distance myself from emotion that I didn’t think… didn’t think about the consequences forothers. All I knew was how to survivewithout losing myself. But I never once considered other people. Other souls. Perhaps if I had, I could have… could have…” He trailed off with an anguished sigh.
Trivia linked her arm with his, burrowing herself into his warmth. “If we are laying out our regrets and grievances, I’m certainly the victor here. I have done the most damage to all the realms. If I hadn’t destroyed the Underworld, Apollo never would have tried to take the throne. He never would have brought the Titans back.”
“But you werefighting.” Sol turned to look at her, his eyes haunted. It reminded her of that night she’d seen him gazing at the moon in Elysium, battling with a grief she had known nothing about at the time. “Your motives were misguided, but you spent your entire life fighting injustice. What did I do? I lounged about and painted idyllic scenes while others were suffering. I didnothing.”
“Sol—” Trivia gripped his arm tighter.
“Don’t,” he growled. “Don’t comfort me, Trivia. I—I can’t…”
“I wasn’t going to,” she argued.
He snorted at that. “Right.”
“I wasn’t!”
He gave her a flat look. “Fine. Then, whatwereyou going to say?”
She dropped the cloak and climbed onto his lap, her legs wrapping around him. She held his face in both her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze.
“We are both terrible people, Sol,” she said firmly.
He winced, then let out a hollow laugh. “Thanks.”
“Will you letme finish?”
“By all means. Please insult me further.”
She smirked. “We’ve both done terrible things. Whether by actively tearing things down, or by doing nothing to stop the destruction. But one thing I learned while in Pandora’s box… is that the choices of yesterday don’t matter as much as the choices of today and tomorrow. You can mourn the person you’ve been, but don’t let it keep you from becoming someone better. Every decision you make can shape you into someone new. Someonegood.” She pressed her palm against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. The pounding rhythm soothed the tension in her body. “You can choose differently, Sol. No one is forcing you to continue the life you’ve led. All it takes is one shift, one small decision to put you on a different path.” She tucked a lock of his golden hair behind his ear. “Make that choice right now. And, little by little, you’ll become someone worthy. Someone decent.”
Sol’s lips parted as he gazed at her with wonder and awe. His eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.
When he said nothing, Trivia shifted on his lap, suddenly uncomfortable. Why wasn’t he saying anything? He was looking at her like she was a goddess.
She didn’t deserve that look.
“I don’t know from experience,” she went on, finding herself rambling. “I’m only a few choices into my new life. So I really have no idea if I’ll become someone worthy or not. It’s just… something I believe in.”
“Gods, Trivia,” Sol breathed, a slow smile spreading across his face. “When did you become so…wise?”
Trivia blinked at him. “I’m not.”
He laughed. “You are. That was the wisest thing I’ve heard in a hundred years.”
Trivia whacked his shoulder. “Liar.”
It was his turn to capture her face in his hands. His fingers caged her, framing her delicately as if she were something precious that he didn’t want to break. She was startled to find his eyes were moist.
“I only know two things right now,” he said softly, his breath tickling her lips. “I know I want to fight. And I know I want you by my side.”
He kissed her, his lips desperate and hungry. His mouth was hot against hers, mingling with the salt of his tears. He angled her head to better devour her, and she found herself melting in his grasp.
He pulled away with a tortured groan, resting his forehead against hers and breathing heavily. “It’s too much,” he whispered. “Gods, this grief, this—thismisery… is too damn much.” He swallowed hard. “This was why I buried myself for so long. So I wouldn’t feel this.”
Trivia brought his mouth back to hers, her lips fervent. She had to make him see. To make him understand. His arms circled around her, drawing her closer.
“I know,” Trivia murmured between kisses, “that I’m alive… and you are, too…” She pressed her mouth to his again, tasting him thoroughly, her tongue sweeping along his. Her hand pressed against his chest once more, feeling for his pulse. “Your heart beats.” Another kiss. “And so does mine.”
