Onora shook her head, attempting to push it away.
She needed to speak sensibly to Jack. If she allowed herself to listen to these invasive thoughts, she would soon be embracing him again, rubbing against him, making him hard and…
Enough!
The mist shrouding her mind faded, and she let go a deep breath.
She touched Jack’s cheek. “It matters not at all.”
“But it does!” He sat up, arranging his clothing. “You can’t carry on with Seton after this.”
“Can’t I?” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud.
The shock on Jack’s face pierced her.
Awkwardly, she set about adjusting her own garments, making herself decent. “I’vebeen thinking about it a great deal; how to...approach things.” She hadn’t expected to have this conversation so soon. Mere moments ago, Jack had been inside her, now he was issuing commands. “The situation is delicate.” She worked upon the buttons of her blouse.
“You’re afraid of him.” Jack leaned close again, putting his hand over hers.
She paused. It was true. Seton scared her, but other things did too—such as the thought of what she was going to do with her life if she didn’t marry him.
“Don’t deny it, Onora. I can see it in your face. He intimidates you. All the more reason to end things! There’s no need to wait. I’ll go with you to see him. He won’t dare make a scene with me there.”
She was touched by his indignation on her behalf, and his wish to protect her, but something about his manner irritated her too. He was making a great deal of assumptions, not least that his judgment was better than hers.
Standing, Onora shook down her skirts. “Having you there would complicate things.”
“You don’t want him to know we’re together.”
She looked him dead in the eye. “Are we?”
“I damn well hope so.” Jack put his hands on her shoulders. “You must know what you mean to me. I’m getting you out of here, one way or another. At a pinch, we might follow the river down to the other camp, but there’s a rowboat moored near the villa—Hassan, Fawzi, and Anwar use it to travel to their village from time to time. We can borrow that and get down to Flinders’ site. He’ll take us in.”
“You can’t just turn up there with me in tow. How would that look? And Mr. Petrie could hardly employ someone embroiled in a dishonorable situation.” However alluring the idea of running away, the reality would be far from romantic. Onora didn’t know if she was strong enough to face the disapprobation of others, and she wouldn’t be the cause of Jack ruining his career.
One didn’t simply walk out on one’s fiancé—and certainly not the Marquess of Seton—without causing a stir. For her to be so swiftly in the company of Seton’s nephew would keep the fire of scandal burning for years.
“We’ll figure it out.” Jack attempted to embrace her, but she pushed against him.
“No! I must do this myself.” Her mind was whirling, thinking of ways to control the damage. “I’ll have to trust in Seton’s decency, in respecting my wishes. It won’t be long before one of the steamers comes by. I might be able to board and find accommodation in Luxor. Otherwise, I might join Seton’s other guests when thedahabeyareturns from Cairo. I’ll be safe with the Reverend and his wife. There was talk of them going south, to view more of the sites.”
Jack’s face fell. “What about us, Onora?”
“I don’t know.” She felt wretched, seeing his disappointment, but it was important to speak the truth. “I don’t know how wedo this. Perhaps if I stay in Luxor, you might join me, eventually. We could court properly—publicly, with a chaperone. If enough time goes by, we might avoid too much malicious talk.”
Would it work? She had a feeling that, regardless of how she handled things, there would be speculation. Then no one would want anything to do with her. Maybe not even Mrs. Griffiths.
Oh, Aunt Clodagh! I wish you were here. All this would be so much easier.
No matter the dilemma, her aunts would always be on her side.
“Whatever you say.” Jack’s shoulders sagged but he managed a smile of encouragement.
They walked back to the villa with barely a word uttered between them. Onora was glad of the silence. Having him pressure her would make things harder.
Reaching close to where the gardens began, he touched his fingers briefly to hers, whispering, “I’ll come to the villa later, to check on you. I won’t be far off. Give a sign if you need me.”
Later? How much will be different in a few hours?
