Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
Life in Trill-Land was so fuckin’ chaotic. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get no crazier, everything around me turned into a damn circus that I somehow ended up front row at. Trill-Land looked beautiful when we pulled up, but the inside of that mansion was a whole different story, and the first night proved to me real fast that I had stepped into some shit bigger than anything I ever dealt with in Greystone City.
The first night, I already had to get into it with Chanel Banks ‘cause that bitch wouldn’t shut the fuck up. She had this nose-in-the-air ass attitude like she was born royalty even though her tracks was showin’ and her breath smelled like she been arguin’ all day. Chanel bumped me on purpose while wewas all grouped in the foyer and then looked back at me like she was waitin’ for me to say somethin’. So I did.
“Bitch, if you bump me again, I’m gon’ bump yo’ ass back down these stairs,” I told her, and she blinked like she ain’t think I would say it out loud. Everybody got quiet for a second, then Taffy Royale started hollerin’, “Oop!” real loud.
Taffy was big as hell, and her mouth was even bigger. She stayed laughin’, yellin’, runnin’ her mouth, talkin’ shit, and eatin’ snacks like she was at home. I actually liked her. She reminded me of Sha’Nelle in a way, just loud and unfiltered but fun as hell.
Then there was Imani Blaze. That sneaky, connivin’, evil-ass bitch who smiled too much and tried too hard. You know that type that act sweet but smell like trouble? That was that hoe. Milan Sweetz was just lost, pretty, confused and always cryin’ about somethin’. Zaniyah Starr was cool until she started thinkin’ she was Pressure’s favorite after they laughed together one time.
The gag wasn’t that she was messy or loud or dramatic. The gag was when we found out that Lola was a whole damn man. Not trans, not in transition, not nothin’. Just a nigga named Leon who threw on a lace front and thought he was gon’ finesse his way into Trill-Land like he wasn’t in a house full of the sharpest, messiest women on earth.
But when Pressure found out? Oh, he lost his fuckin’ mind!
That nigga wasn’t regular mad, or regular irritated. He went full blown unhinged!
He dragged Lola out by the front of that cheap-ass wig and went to work on his ass.
Lord Jesus, it was a mess!
It took Pressure’s cousins to pull Pressure off Lola. And even then, Pressure was about to go at him again ‘cause he couldn’t believe the disrespect.
But aside from all that chaos…
When Pressure walked into a room.
That man. Lord.
Pressure was fine as fuck, and I said that in my head every time he showed up. He looked like money, danger, and disrespect all wrapped into one musclebound, tattooed package. When he talked, bitches damn near fainted. When he walked, you could tell he wasn’t new to bein’ stared at. The first time we spoke, he looked right at me and my stomach flipped like I was sixteen again.
“Toni Roc,” he said, and I swear my knees got weak. “You gon’ be trouble.”
“Boy, I’m grown trouble,” I told him, and he laughed that deep laugh that made every bitch in the room side-eye me.
We clicked fast. Maybe ‘cause we both liked to flirt without meanin’ shit by it, or maybe ‘cause he liked my mouth, or maybe ‘cause I knew how to keep it real with him. I told him what I went through. He ain’t treat me like I was beneath nobody. Matter of fact, he let me work out with him several times. Me. Out of twenty damn bitches.
I used to be in that gym with him sweatin’, talkin’ shit, pushin’ myself harder just to impress him. He would smirk at me while I lifted weights wrong and correct me by touchin’ my elbows like he was teachin’ me somethin’ important. And yeah, that gave me butterflies ‘cause who the hell wouldn’t get butterflies when a man that fine is standin’ close enough for you to smell his cologne?
But even though we had chemistry, I wasn’t blind. As time went on, I saw the way he looked at Pluto and Kashmere. It wasn’t the way he looked at me. Pressure looked at them like he was tryna figure somethin’ out inside himself. He looked at Pluto like she was this quiet mystery he wanted to unfold. He looked at Kashmere like she was fun and wild and dangerous.And he looked at me like his friend, like his workout buddy, like somebody he liked bein’ around but not somebody he was gon’ choose at the end.
I ain’t mad about it now, but back then it stung a lil’.
Especially ‘cause Kashmere naturally gravitated toward me. She was loud as hell just like me, so we clicked. Pluto, on the other hand, acted like she was disgusted with me, and I wasn’t even tryna beef with her at first, but when I tried to speak to her ass one mornin’ in the kitchen, she looked me up and down, didn’t say shit, and walked away.
I stood there like, “Oh okay, that’s how you feel bitch?
From that moment, I ain’t like Pluto. Her lil’ sweet girl act ain’t work on me. I saw straight through it ‘cause I been around girls like that before. The quiet ones. The guarded ones. The ones who act soft until they start fightin’ with their best friend over a man. I ain’t care about Pressure enough to fight nobody, but I didn’t like bein’ ignored either.
And baby, Pluto and Kashmere fell out so fast over that nigga you would’ve thought he was handin’ out organs. They went from laughin’ and braidin’ each other’s hair to screamin’ about who he really wanted. And guess who sat right there watchin’? Me. Toni. The same one readers swore was the villain. I wasn’t nobody’s villain. I was just honest.
And while all that was goin’ on, Pressure started disappearin’ for days at a time. At that point, I knew whatever we had wasn’t goin’ nowhere, so I stopped stressin’ over him.
That’s when Kay’Lo Mensah slid into my life without even tryin’.
Kay’Lo started out simple, just givin’ me weed and walkin’ around with that dumbass grin he always had. He was playful and unhinged before I even knew what unhinged meant. He would pop up in the kitchen at two in the mornin’ talkin’about, “Toni, you tryna roll?” or bring me snacks he stole from Pressure’s stash just ‘cause he felt like it.
We ain’t even know we was flirtin’ at first. We just liked bein’ around each other. We would laugh until our stomachs hurt, flirt without takin’ it serious, and talk about everything even though we barely knew each other. Kay’Lo had this wild boy charm that made you drop your guard, and the way he looked at me sometimes… Whew. It made me feel like the only girl in the mansion, even though I knew I wasn’t.
