They exchange a look, but quietly obey.
When we’re alone, I don’t even bother to take a breath before diving in. It’s time to push her away. It’s for her own good. “The media have run with our story. Photos from the festival and a bunch of other nonsense are everywhere. They’re speculating about Kai being your son, about you targeting me because of money.”
Nina’s expression pinches. “I thought I set them straight. It’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Because I also saw that final notice for the bakery lease on your desk when I was looking for your label maker.”
Her silence tells me everything I need to know.
“Nina, I wish you had told me you were in financial trouble. Why didn’t you?”
“Because it’s not your problem,” she says quietly. “I’ve been handling it on my own for years. I don’t need rescuing.”
“But maybe that’s what this has all been about. Maybe that’s why you agreed to stay married, why you were so willing to take on Kai?—”
“Stop.” Nina’s voice is sharp now and her gaze narrows with accusation. “Just stop. You think I’m using you? Using him? Mya?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” The words come out harsher than I intend, but I can’t take them back. “This whole situation has gotten way too complicated, too real. Maybe we should end our arrangement before someone gets hurt.”
She gasps and liquid brims in her eyes.
It pains me, but what did I expect? For her to cheer and smile?
Expression pinched and voice trembling, she says, “I thought you were afraid of your career failing. But the truth is, you don’t know how to be part of a family.”
Those are fighting words and they hit like a blow to the chest. I grit my jaw. “Are you kidding me? What exactly have I been doing all this time then?” Shaking my head, I continue like I’m sliding down a slick hill in skates with no way to slow down. “If that’s the case, you’re using the so-called promise you made to your father as an excuse not to allow anyone to get close to you.”
Her arms fly in front of her chest and she crosses them tightly. “What are you even talking about? I’ve been giving my all to you guys.”
Frowning, I retort, “Maybe we don’t have what it takes to fight for these kids, for each other.”
With a snort, she says, “You’re right. Maybe it is for the best.”
But even as the words hang between us, I can see the kids in the living room, Mya helping Kai with his fractions, both of them finally together for the first time in their lives.
“What about Mya and Kai?” Nina asks, voicing what we’re both thinking.
“I don’t know. Maybe Sabrina is right. Maybe they need stability while we figure out what we’re doing.”
“So we stay together for them, but not for us?”
The question is just what I was thinking, but even as she says it, that’s a challenge I’m not sure I can meet.
“Nina, what if one day you decide you’re done, that we’re too much, and you leave?”
She seems to shrink and her voice is a whisper. “Like my mother.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” But the fears I’ve been carrying since Xoe left come pouring out. “What if my career comes to an abrupt end and you realize this isn’t what you signed up for? What if the kids get attached and then you decide you want something different?”
“And what if you decide I’m not worth the trouble?” she shoots back. “What if you realize your father is right and I’m just some small-town baker who doesn’t belong in your world?”
We stare at each other across the kitchen, both of us retreating into our respective corners, building borders to protect hearts that bear real scars.
“Maybe we both need some space to think,” Nina says finally.
“Maybe we do.”
But neither of us moves to leave, and in the silence that follows, I remember New Year’s Eve. The way Nina looked across that crowded ballroom, how she felt in my arms when we danced, the hazy yet unexpected certainty I felt when I said, “I do” under the stage lights.
