Something brushes my collarbone, and I reach out to grab it. Vonn’s dog tags. He fought in wars and came out of them alive. I grip them, taking some of his strength for myself.
My mind, stupidly, irrationally, drags me back to the roof on the night where Makhi is smoking something that smells too potent to be a cigarette. The sky is black, and when he passes it to me, I take it even though I’ve never smoked a day in my life.
I try to think of Vonn.
Vonn, who saved me. Who made me feel safe for the first time in so long. I wanthimto be the last person I think of when I die. Not the man who called me a thief and slammed a door in my face.
But I’m not in control of my mind anymore.
I’m just here for the ride. In my mind, as I die, I’m sitting on the edge of the roof of a mansion filled with secrets, and I take the cigarette from Makhi.
I smoke it, and when I blow a smoke ring, he pushes me off the roof.
The ground reaches toward me. I put my hands out, as if skin and bone will save me.
And I die.
Imustbe dying because why else would I be sitting in a smoke ring, floating past Makhi, who kicks his legs as he sits back on the edge of the roof, smoking a cigarette that is not a cigarette. His eyes are unfocused, and for one split second, they focus on me.
I look him in the eye, furious that this is my last memory.
Him.
“You killed me,” I scream in his face.
But he takes another drag from his cigarette, and when he blows, he blows me away.
He doesn’t care.
Henevercared, and maybe that’s okay. No one else did either.
Chapter 7
Vonn
Fences and barbed wire surround a compound deep in the New Mexico desert.
It’s near seven, and with the day mostly gone, I spy the occasional light from the small cabins on the other side of the fence.
“This is it,” I say.
Makhi’s stare heats the left side of my face. I’m in the driver’s seat while he’s in the passenger seat. Nash is in the back.
“And you know thathow?” Makhi doesn’t even try to hide his disbelief.
I tuck the binoculars I brought for this expedition into the glove compartment, unbuckle my seatbelt, and open my door. “Just do. I’m going to scout.”
“You can’t just?—”
I climb out and slam the door shut, but even through the metal, I hear Makhi’s curse.
The soft squeak of another door opening has me throwing a scowl over my shoulder before I’ve taken three steps toward the fence. “What are you doing?”
Makhi slams the door shut and rounds the front of the hood. “Coming with you.”
“I told you?—”
“You didn’t tell me shit,” he cuts in, eyes sliding past me and toward the fence. “Are we just scouting, or can we grab someone and get them to tell us where Byrdie is?”
