I want to rock back on my chair until it tips, and when it hits the ground, I want to fall through the floor like I’m Alice in Wonderland.
“She came for work. I’m very fortunate that she did.” Adrian raises his glass to me. Yann follows suit. “You met Huda in Munich, if I remember correctly?”
The conversation meanders on. I cut my steak, pierce a bite with a slice of mushroom, raise it to my mouth and lower it again, uneaten. Beside me, Delaney devours her salmon, dragging pieces across her plate, sopping up the sauce, tines scraping the china. The server brings more wine. Delaney holds up her glass for a refill. Clink, clink, clink.
Her metallic wrap dress glitters, the V neck gaping when she leans over the table like she’s trying to hear Mike better.They can hear Mike down at the ice-skating rink. He’s from Jersey City.
Adrian watches me, his body tensed, primed for an attack. He should relax. I’ve never hurt anyone else, not even people who deserved it. Early on, I learned to turn the knife on myself.
The conversation continues to Mike’s backstory and then Yann turns his attention to Delaney. “Now, you strike me as a native New Yorker, Ms. Pierson.”
“Guilty as charged.” Delaney lets her fork clatter to her plate. “What gave me away?”
“I could say a certain je ne sais quoi, but in reality, it’s the speed at which you walk. You nearly left me in the dust at lunch!”
“Never!” Delaney chuckles. “It’s the curse of long legs, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t call it a curse.” Yann waggles his bushy eyebrows.
Huda rolls her eyes, her attention still mostly on her shrimp scampi. She’s eating with gusto.
“And have you lived in New York for your entire young life, my dear?” Yann asks Delaney.
“Mostly. Except for four years of undergrad outside of Boston. That’s where I met the boss.” Delaney flashes Adrian a fond smile.
Claws sink into my chest, and I’m pinned to my chair, frozen, a deer in headlights, a rabbit in an open field. They knew each other back then?
“You two go back so far?” Yann sips his wine.
“Oh, Adrian and I circled each other for years before he invited me to join Maddox Capital.” She glances at me, smirking.
I want to tell her she doesn’t have to do all this—she can have him—but I can’t speak. My insides are unspooling andmy brain is plunging into free fall, every handhold slipping through my fingers.
“High finance is a small world.” There’s a note of warning in Adrian’s voice.
“And Maddox Capital is a crown jewel,” Yann says. “Delaney, you must be happy that you kept your old college friend’s number.”
“It’s been very gratifying to work under such a brilliant man.” Delaney backs her seat a few inches away from the table. “It’s nice when one’s talents are so thoroughly appreciated.” She’s practically purring. “A woman will really go above and beyond for a boss like that.”
“I’m sure your accomplishments have more thanearnedyou such appreciation,” Huda interjects, her fork paused midair. Huda is a feminist. Delaney’s ass-kissing must be raising her hackles, too.
“No doubt,” Delaney says. “Back in college, I decided that I wanted the best, and look—” She gestures around the table. At the view of Rockefeller Center. At my husband. “I’ve got it.”
She sinks back in her chair and crosses her legs, slowly so I’m sure to notice, flashing her long, bare legs and blush-colored slingback heels with red soles. She lets the shoe on the crossed leg dangle from her toes.
In my mind, I see her jammed down on my husband’s dick as she turns her head, tossing her hair, her mouth in a perfect, surprised “oh.”
I feel the beautiful soap bubble inside me that I thought was love pop again.
I stand, but it’s not me. I’m not in control anymore.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I mumble at the table.
From the corner of my eye, I see Adrian fumble with his napkin, but not-me is fast. In five steps, I’m at the coat rack, fishing his keys from his coat pocket. Seconds later, I’mweaving through the dining room, and then I’m at the elevator bank. It’s my lucky day. I push the button, and the silver doors in front of me glide right open.
I vaguely hear Adrian call my name from behind, but the door is already closing, and I’m going down. I catch my reflection. Today, I’m alone. No Schmidt or Tiller behind me, exchanging looks that are so obvious in hindsight. Adrian feels like he’s enough security for us when we go out together.
Adrian makes all the decisions, all the calls.
