“Okay, Daddy,” Pearl accepts his invitation with no hesitation. He’s never broken a promise to her, and except for camping out in the hallway last night, he’s always been a predictable presence.
I could have done worse by her. The part of me that’s fixing my own past by making a good life for these little girls is proud. Grateful even. The part of me thatisthe little girl is still broken on the floor in pieces.
Couldn’t he have promisedme?
Couldn’t I have been worth a promise?
My nose tingles. I blink away a tear. My eyes are so sandpaper dry from last night’s drinking, I can’t tell if it’s sadness or irritation. I ease the bottle from Winnie’s mouth as she conks out in a milk stupor. Adrian frowns.
“What’s wrong?” he asks me quietly, as if we aren’t all sitting right next to each other.
I ignore him, and Minh and Vera appear, Minh with a tray of eggs Benedict, bacon, and tropical fruit salad, andVera, the goddess, with a carafe of coffee. Pearl has her own melamine plate with scrambled eggs and strawberries since she’s in her berry era and won’t touch pineapple or mango.
I dab away the tear with Winnie’s burp cloth, and we dig in. I cradle Winnie in my left arm and eat with my right. When Pearl wants her oat milk refilled, Adrian takes care of it. Except for the chef and housekeeper in the next room and the ungodly tension, we could be a normal family.
That’s what I always wanted, right?
I steal a glance at Adrian. He’s watching Pearl chase eggs around her plate and shovel more onto the table than onto her spoon. You can tell he wants to help, but he’s holding himself back.
I’m stuck here with him for eighteen more years. I’ve done time before, after a fashion. You get used to it eventually, and it’s better once you do.
“Here, baby,” I say, reaching over and setting my butter knife on Pearl’s plate so she has something to block the eggs while she scoops.
“Thanks, Mommy.” She gives me an eggy grin.
“You’re welcome.”
Vera returns with fresh coffee when we’re all pretty much finished. I don’t like asking for her help with the girls too much, but Adrian is always reminding me that’s part of her duties. He hired her because she has an undergraduate degree in child development.
“Vera, do you mind taking the girls up to the nursery? I just need a second.”
Adrian perks up, his own bloodshot eyes sharpening.
“Of course,” Vera agrees, setting down the carafe to accept a sleeping Winnie. “Ready, young miss?” she asks Pearl.
Pearl clambers out of her chair. “Ready.”
She loves hanging out with Vera. They have a similartaste in television shows, and Vera slips her the salted licorice she brings back from her trips home to Frankfurt. I can’t stand licorice, and I do not understand how salt makes it better, but Pearl would eat the whole bag if Vera let her.
“What are we watching these days?” Vera asks her as they leave. “Tow truck drivers? Goldminers?”
“Shrimp boat captains.”
“Oh, very interesting.”
“Yes, it is,” Pearl agrees.
Their voices fade as they walk down the hall. Adrian pushes his plate away, clasps his hands, and sets them on the table in front of him. All of a sudden, this feels like an interview.
I tuck a leg under my butt, sip my coffee, and consider him. The stubble that scratched my face last night is gone. His black-brown hair is shiny and styled again, and his camel cashmere sweater fits him like it knows exactly where to cling and where to drape so he looks like a Madison Avenue bus stop advertisement.
I miss messing him up, tearing his clothes off, dropping them on the floor, and leaving them inside out. I miss thinking that I was a good influence on him, that I loosened him up. Turns out he was loose all along.
“You have the leverage, Cora,” he says eventually, breaking the silence. “You make the opening bid.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say something nasty about transactions again, but I’m getting tired of sniping at him. It doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m stuck here, trapped with him in my life for the foreseeable future until Drake Chambers pulls a rabbit from his hat. I might as well ask what I really want to know.
“What did Delaney want last night?”
